Mere hours ago, word hit the internet that Warner Brothers had acquired the rights to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and would be moving forward on a reboot of the property based on a pitch by Whit Anderson, who is currently working on the screenplay for her take on the character.

Well, it didn’t take long for someone to get a hold of Joss Whedon, who wrote the script for the 1992 original Buffy starring Kristy Swanson, created, wrote, directed, and produced the mega-popular TV series of the same name starring Sarah Michelle Gellar, and is also responsible for things like Firefly, Angel, and Dollhouse. Whedon is busy working away on The Avengers, the Marvel comic book movie that’s been set up over the past handful of years to become one of the biggest movies of all time, which he was hired to write and direct. Nevertheless, the fanboy favorite took the time to write a response letter sharing his feelings on the new reboot, and you don’t want to miss what he had to say.

You can head on over to the other side to read the full letter from Whedon, and you should plan to giggle once or twice.

Here’s the full response to this new Buffy from Whedon himself to E! Online‘s Kristin Dos Santos.

Kristin, I’m glad you asked for my thoughts on the announcement of Buffy the cinema film. This is a sad, sad reflection on our times, when people must feed off the carcasses of beloved stories from their youths—just because they can’t think of an original idea of their own, like I did with my Avengers idea that I made up myself.

Obviously I have strong, mixed emotions about something like this. My first reaction upon hearing who was writing it was, “Whit Stillman AND Wes Anderson? This is gonna be the most sardonically adorable movie EVER.” Apparently I was misinformed. Then I thought, “I’ll make a mint! This is worth more than all my Toy Story residuals combined!” Apparently I am seldom informed of anything. And possibly a little slow. But seriously, are vampires even popular any more?

I always hoped that Buffy would live on even after my death. But, you know, AFTER. I don’t love the idea of my creation in other hands, but I’m also well aware that many more hands than mine went into making that show what it was. And there is no legal grounds for doing anything other than sighing audibly. I can’t wish people who are passionate about my little myth ill. I can, however, take this time to announce that I’m making a Batman movie. Because there’s a franchise that truly needs updating. So look for The Dark Knight Rises Way Earlier Than That Other One And Also More Cheaply And In Toronto, rebooting into a theater near you.

Leave me to my pain!

Sincerely, Joss Whedon.