If you’re reading Geeks of Doom, which you should be because it’s great [*shameless plug*], you may have seen an article a couple of weeks back about a wedding cake sent to Doom HQ’s to promote an upcoming show on FX, titled American Horror Story, the first episode of which airs tonight.

In that article, there’s a link to the show’s site where you can sign up to get free stuff and stuff. Well, I did sign up, and while I didn’t get a badass cake sent to me, I did get an email with a couple of pictures, one of which was a recipe for Delicious Dills (subtitled “No Friends like the old!”), so what the hell, it’s perfect for me and my Cooking Corner collection!

So, here is a nice recipe for Delicious Dill Pickles. Now, I’ve never made this before, so I have no idea if these are any good. I mean, this is a horror show; for all I know these pickles could send you into a homicidal rage the likes of which have never been seen. Or they could just be pickles. It’s like Freud said, “Sometimes a pickle is just a penis metaphor.” Or was that me? I can’t remember. Anywho…

If you can read the recipe the ingredients are:

Delicious Dills – “No Friends like the old!”

Green Grap Leaves
Cucumbers 4″-5″ Long
8 heads and stems of Dill
2 tsp Horseradish
2 tsp mustard seed
2 large onions
5 cups water
1/2 cup vinegar
1/2 cup salt

Line bottom of 2 quart jars (is that two jars whose measurement is 1 quart, or multiple jars whose measurement is 2 quarts?) with grape leaves. Halve cucumbers lengthwise, then (something, a little help with this word. I can’t read cursive. Is that a technical pickling term I am not aware of?) to fill jars. To each jar add half of dill, horseradish, mustard seeds and onion slices.

Unfortunately, that’s where the recipe ends, which seems like we’re missing some crucial pickling steps. Or maybe it is just that easy to make pickles. I don’t know, there’s only one pickle that I mess around with, but you probably don’t want to hear about that. Does anyone out there make they’re own pickles and is this pretty much a standard recipe? If you have any pickling tips, leave them in the comments so that I can figure this out. I may give this a shot at some point. I just hope my pickles don’t end up like this:

I think they missed a step in the recipe. Or maybe added a step. Again, not a pickling expert.

Anyhow, this recipe is somehow a clue to the events that happened in the haunted house on the show, so keep it in mind if you’re planning on watching. If you’re gathering clues, then check out the artifacts that our own MK2Fac3 received: American Horror Story: Bloody Garter Artifact.

American Horror Story premieres on FX tonight at 10pm.