Directed by Sam Mendes (Skyfall), Spectre is the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, and the fourth to start Daniel Craig as Agent 007.
A cryptic message sends Bond to Mexico City during DÃa de Muertos in pursuit of Marco Sciarra (Alessandro Cremon), a criminal with ties to the sinister organization known as SPECTRE. After dispatching his target, Bond heads to Rome to attend the funeral, where he meets the dead man’s widow, Lucia (Monica Bellucci). Of course, because this is a Bond film, they have sex and she gives him all the information he needs to pursue SPECTRE.
Back in London, Gareth Mallory (Ralph Fiennes), the newly appointed M, faces political pressures that threaten the future of MI6 and the double-O program. After Bond’s excursion in Mexico, Head of the Centre for National Security Max Denbigh (Andrew Scott) believes the spy agency should be phased out and replaced by high-tech surveillance network.
2006’s Casino Royale resurrected Bond with a Batman Begins-esque origin story that showed the agent earning his 00 status. The follow-up, 2008’s Quantum of Solace, was a victim of the 2007–08 Writers Guild of America strike that delivered spectacle but little story. With Sam Mendes’ 2012 entry, Skyfall, Craig’s Bond became the Bond we’ve all been waiting for.
But here, in Spectre, Mendes and his gaggle of writers decide to strip the super-spy bare once again, making him a man on the run – much like Mission: Impossible‘s Ethan Hunt. After three movies of grounding 007 in gritty realism and separating from the Bond formula, Spectre shoehorns Craig into the silliest, most formulaic Bond movie since the Pierce Brosnan era.
Throughout the film’s 148-minute runtime, I thought about walking out. Instead, I stayed for the film’s entire duration and was punished several times over for it. From the one-note characters and stock action sequences to the obvious reveal and flaccid ending, Spectre is tedious in every sense of the word. The film’s only redeeming value is Bautista’s Mr. Hinx, a goon with metal thumbnails that crushes your skull while stabbing out your eyes. Come to think of it, that’s a pretty good description of how it feels to watch Spectre.
In comparison to this year’s other espionage offerings – Spy, Kingsman, Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation, and The Man from U.N.C.L.E, Spectre comes in dead-last. Sadly, it might be time for James Bond to retire – or at least take a very long, well-deserved vacation. Unfortunately, Spectre ends with the promise of more movies, making me wonder if James Bond should’ve done a better job at saving for retirement instead of working years past his prime.
Trailer
PS: It’s obvious watching this film that the only person enjoying Spectre less than me is Daniel Craig. Can someone get that man a puppy or some street tacos or something? Poor guy.
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Students of the Unusual™ comic cover used with permission of 3BoysProductions
The Mercuri Bros.™ comic cover used with permission of Prodigal Son Press
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