Obvious Zombie's Published Articles
$3 MP3 Album Deal: Music for the Zombie Apocalypse
June 3rd, 2012 at 4:15 pm | |
Contest: ‘The Zombie Tarot’ Set With Personal Reading From The Author!
Aaaaaah, it seems as though one of you musical mobile meatsnacks went ahead and set my work-day to song with the sweet sounds of this compilation, Music for the Zombie Apocalypse.
I guess now it’s time us hobbling human-hunting halitosis humidors learn a few new dance steps. Well, to be honest all this shuffle-hop-step-drag-lurch nonsense was getting a bit boring anyhow. While you still have fingers and ears, clickety clack on over to Amazon and buy mp3 album for only $2.99 for a limited time (much like your lifespan) and enjoy the soundtrack to your demise [...]
May 31st, 2012 at 12:00 pm | |
Howdy breathers. Your old & rotten pal Obvious Zombie here, and have I got a meaty treat for you GoD readers! Get this. One of you meat sacks went and created a ZOMBIE-themed Tarot deck called The Zombie Tarot: An Oracle of the Undead. Maybe things have changed since my brain turned into gray goo, but from what I remember Tarot decks are used to tell the future. Yes? No? Maybe so?
Being the kindly monstrosity that you all know I am, I’m going to save you some time. Look deeply into my crystal baaaaall. I see you & I together. We’re out. For a nice bit of lunch, it seems. Hrmmm. Your future…it’s hazy. Wait. Oh, silly me. I see it now. We’re not *at* lunch. You *are* my lunch… Ha! I kid the living! But seriously though. That’ll be $50.
I’m sorry. I seem to go off message a lot ever since that dude in Walmart took a Louisville to my left lobe. DON’T WORRY! We were just playing a round of Catch You, Eat You. Contest. CONTEST! Right. We’ve got us a pretty special contest right here. Not only are we Geeks of Doom giving away FIVE copies of The Zombie Tarot: An Oracle of the Undead, but one Grand Prize winner will be getting their own personal tarot reading (via tele) from the author. All made possible by the quirky kooky zany crew at Quirk Books.
One (1) Grand Prize winners will receive:
- One (1) Zombie Tarot Set
- One (1) Personalized Tarot reading by the author via phone*
Four (4) First Prize winners will receive:
- One (1) Zombie Tarot Set [...]
Watch Now: Tips For Surviving A Holiday Zombie Invasion
December 25th, 2011 at 1:00 am | |
Alfred Hitchcock Brought Back To Life To Direct ‘Walking Dead’ Film
The fine folks over atTeam Unicorn have put together this quaint little video entitled ‘A Very Zombie Holiday’. They packed it chock full of tender morsels concerning how to survive a holiday zombie attack, such as locking your doors and arming your children.
Funny, but foolish, you humans be.
You can watch the video here below, but let’s face it, deep down you all know there’s actually no real way to ‘survive’ against a zombie incursion [...]
April 1st, 2011 at 11:37 am | |
‘The Walking Dead’ Zombies Invade New York City
Oh how I love a good resurrection!
In news that is catching the undead world by storm, it was announced today that through the use of advanced science and with the help of a few pages from the Necronomicon, Alfred Hitchcock, famed director of Psycho and The Birds, has been brought back to life. Now, you would think a director of this caliber would have a ripe choice of projects to pick from, but his dark Hollywood overlords have decided for him, putting him behind a big-screen version of The Walking Dead as his comeback [to life] picture. This comes as even a bigger shock than the undead returning to life, as The Walking Dead is already a fairly successful television series — even with its unnecessary and unprovoked violence towards innocent zombies [...]
October 26th, 2010 at 1:41 pm | |
Greetings tasty morsels, it is I, your favorite undead bad boy ObZomb and I’m delighted to report that my very own brethren have invaded New York City!
That’s right, you tired, huddled masses, my peeps were out in full force today at New York’s Penn Station. What, you thought you could have your typical little commute or your day trip into the city without turning into lunch for my fine friends? Think again! Oh, wait, you can’t, your brains are what’s on the menu! Yummmmmm…..
One of the victims, um, bystanders, Krick714, sent in a few photographs of my fine-looking Walker pals out on the streets in New York. I’ve posted them here below for you all. Look at those silly humans in the background going about their business as if they’re not about to be chomped on. Typical New Yorkers!
Yes, dear readers, it’s a nice day for a zombie invasion. Now, now, don’t act like you didn’t know this was coming. It’s happening everywhere! It’s an uprising I say to protest the upcoming reality television show The Walking Dead, where cruel humans attack harmless zombies who only just want a bite to eat. There’s nothing wrong with a little nibble here and there, is there? [...]
Zombies Infest IDW’s Hollywood Franchise Line Of Comics
October 11th, 2010 at 10:06 am | |
Survival Tips For The Coming Zombie Apocalypse
Oooh, I just love it when we zombies get all multi-dimensional n’ shit!
In January of 2011, IDW Publishing is set to launch a multi-title crossover event named Infestation, in which several of their flagship titles will be invaded by none other than… you guessed it, Zombies!
The event kicks off in January 2011, with Infestation #1 from writers Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning, which finds us in IDW’s own Zombies vs. Robots universe just prior to some insane multi-dimensional event that seeds the rest of IDW’s titles with zombies and ‘infected’ robots. The event continues throughout two bi-weeky issues from each from their ‘Blockbuster Hollywood’ line, which includes Star Trek, G.I. Joe, Transformers, and Ghostbusters, and will conclude in April 2011 with Infestation #2 [...]
October 4th, 2010 at 7:46 pm | |
Raccoons and gophers and rabbit. Oh My! See… this is how it always starts. Very small. First with the cute and cuddly little animals rising from the beyond and attacking the unsuspecting. Then, me and my flock of festering freaks roll up in your hood and make a meal out of your friends and family.
I know it’s silly. You know it’s silly. But for some reason you’all living folk keep thinking that when me and my rotting gang of go-getters decide it’s time to rise up and make our ‘big’ move, that locking your doors & watching reruns of Good Times until we all zombie-types starve to uh…death (yeah, not gonna happen) is gonna cut the mustard. Well, lemme tell you. It ain’t.
Now, I don’t have a date or nothin’ like that though. But we zombies are coming. Some of us aren’t the brightest potatoes in the shed, and well, we may not be so very well organized… but don’t let that lull you into a false sense of security. Not that it’ll matter, but y’all need to be prepared. And since I have a soft spot in my skull for you geeks, I decided to allow this handy little list of tips and tricks to avoiding immediate death to be compiled.
Who knows? It might even keep you alive long enough for good old Obvious Zombie (that’s me!) to make it ’round your way and say hello… before I chow down on some of that sweet meat you hide between your ears [...]
Geek Read Contest: Zombocalypse Now
March 3rd, 2010 at 9:01 am | |
Contest: ‘Pride and Prejudice’ VS. ‘Pride and Prejudice AND Zombies’
Well hello again, my living lunches. It’s ol’ ObZomb, your favorite zombie correspondent here to offer up another prize from our Geek Read contest series. This time around, we living dead here at Geeks of Doom have five (5) copies of Zombocalypse Now, the choose-your-own zombie survival adventure book [as if there's a chance of survival] by Matt Youngmark for some of you tasty morsels out there.
Five (5) Feasts of Flesh [winners] will each receive:
– One (1) copy of Zombocalypse Now by Matt Youngmark
Zombocalypse Now is a comedy/horror reimagining of the choose-your-own-ending books you grew up with. You’ll be confronted with undead hordes, internet dating, improper police procedure, and the very real danger that you’ll lose your grip on reality and wind up stark raving mad.
The zombie apocalypse has never been this much fun.
Good luck [you'll need it ... to survive!] [...]
April 27th, 2009 at 2:37 pm | |
You all saw this coming, right? It was inevitable that we Zombies, the rightful heirs to this pitiful planet peopled with living lunches, would learn how to both write AND travel through time. That’s right, humans, we’ve developed our OWN flux-capacitor thingy. We likes ta call it the Guts-Corpacitor and it runs on 1.21 gigawats of electrified pineal glands (yeah, I mix my movie metaphors like a man from the Catskills). Our first stop in Global goreification: your beloved literature!!!
Arrrrrrggghhh AAAAAHHH!!! Scary right? boo
You wanna talk about a remix? We sent our most wordsmithy brain-fed ghoul, Seth Grahame-Smith, who we cleverly disguised as Jane Austen, back in time to mess with the best. Beware, for thanks to Seth (along with a generous grant from Quirk Books), your classic Pride and Prejudice now contains the proper amount ZOMBIE ATTACKS! And… more ZOMBIE ATTACKS!! Can I get a w00t, my bug-ridded brethren?
Anyhoo, we know you self-hating humans just love us. And since we’re so damn nice when we’re not hungry for your tasty, tasty brains, we decided to give away some copies of this new masterpiece… along with the original television series adaptation, which, without the zombies is full of fail, though Colin Firth would make a fine-looking zombie. But we’ll let you be the judge, as you have the opportunity to win BOTH of them, my necros!
One (1) winner will receive:
One (1) Pride and Prejudice AND Zombies novel by Seth Grahame-Smith
– One (1) Blu-ray edition of the popular BBC series Pride and Prejudice starring Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle [...]
Hollywood Feeding Frenzy Begins For ‘Pride and Prejudice and Zombies’
February 11th, 2009 at 10:38 pm | |
Ghoul day to you all, my living lunches. It’s your favorite Zombie correspondent who also happens to be a Zombie… ol’ Obvious.
So here I am repeatedly walking into a wall in some strange apartment (zombies lack a certain amount of navigational skills, shut up) when I bumped the little hollow-headed lad laying most un-flatteringly to across a table (this morning’s breakfast). Glowing amidst the grue and gunk, his laptop screen captivated me. I moved closer and found myself incredibly happy. After my eye adjusted (yeah, I have one) I read this.
Get this… some awesome meatbag took the Jane Austen über-classic novel Pride and Prejudice and mashed up with a horde of undead and retitled this newly minted horror tale Pride and Prejudice and Zombies … and the Hollywood feeding frenzy for it has already begun!
If I had naughty bits, they would have been tingling. Seriously, can any of you walking, thinking happy meals deny this anymore? You go about your daily lives pretending we don’t exist, but we’re most definitely real and we’re coming to take over very soon. THIS is your first warning sign [...]
Video: Dwight’s Zombie Advice On ‘The Office’
December 12th, 2008 at 6:56 pm | |
A Zombie Thanksgiving on Monsters HD
During an impromptu intervention on The Office concerning Meredith’s obvious drinking problem, affable fleshbag Michael Scott ask the question, “What about tomorrow? What is going to happen when you come in to work and you’re dead?”
Office ghast Dwight quickly responds, “I stab her in the brain with a wooden stick.”
Then it cuts to the patented Office solo sidebar-cam, where Dwight goes on to inform us all that “There are several ways to kill a zombie, but” he continues “…the most satisfying one is to stab it in the brain with a wooden stick.”
Bring it on, Dwight. I may be dead, but I got skills, son.
Check out the quick replay video of last night’s episode “Moroccan Christmas” — Dwight’s advice comes in when the counter hits 2:20 [...]
November 27th, 2008 at 10:28 am | |
Red 5 Announces New Zombie Series ‘ZMD’
As one of the lucky few on this sad planet who rank among the undead, I consider myself thankful for so many great things this world of clueless meandering flesh-bags has to offer — Slow-moving victims who always seem to trip and fall at the most inopportune times, meat-lockers at the morgue with cheap locks, royalty checks from the continual demand for my appearance in the hottest video games (thanks Left 4 Dead, CoD:W@W), and HD motherfcukin TV, my people. Are ya with me?!
Well, today I intend to curl my undead ass up with a nice glass of blended brains and give thanks for all these great things and more, all while watching endless hours of grue and gore on Monsters HD. They’ve got a marathon of me and my peeps running rampant on the silver screen going on all goddamn day, and I couldn’t be happier. Check out the skinny on this succulently screamin’ screen schedule right here [...]
April 29th, 2008 at 9:07 pm | |
‘American Zombie’ Opens In LA This Weekend — See It For Only $6!
Undead correspondent Obvious Zombie brings us news of upcoming zombie series from Red 5 Comics titled ZMD: Zombies of Mass Destruction.
March 29th, 2008 at 1:28 pm | |
‘Zombie Strippers’ Gets A Theatrical Release
This zombie flick opens this weekend in LA, see run out and see it for only $6!
March 28th, 2008 at 4:51 pm | |
Post-mortem pole-dancing picture heroine to be portrayed by previous porn queen? You betcha. Zombie Strippers is heading your way, and you can find out all about it right here.