Most geeks don’t realize Apple’s app store for the iPhone is chock-full of free apps that have nothing to do with a Lightsaber. There are literally thousands of things to download to satisfy nearly every electronic need you may have. Below is a list of five essential apps every Geek should experience…

The Dark Knight: HaHaHa

Remember when viral marketing began for The Dark Knight? The odd Web sites with Harvey Dent’s campaign all over the place. Billboards with “I believe in Harvey Dent” plastered on them. And then weeks later the picture of Gotham’s would-be District Attorney was defaced with black circles around his eyes and bright red mouthy-lookin’ Bat symbol. The HaHaHa app gives you the ability to tag any picture with the hideously cool graffiti. Literally no one is safe from being Jokerized — not friends, not family, not even your pets are safe from jokerization. I went nuts and Jokerized all my friend contacts for an entire month (which possibly cost me at least one professional relationship and perhaps a dozen evil glares — all worth it.)

FAIL Maker

Personally I see — at the very least — five FAIL moments a day. Every now and then I’ll see a PWND, LOL, or EPIC moment, too. However, I could never enjoy these instances with a community until this app came along. Thanks to the iPhone’s built-in camera and the functionality of the FAIL Maker app, you can rest assure no FAILed moment will ever go undocumented again. You need this App.

World 9

Despite its lack of practical uses, World 9 is probably the best reason to buy an iPhone for anyone who grew up during the Nintendo Entertainment System era of video gaming. Turn the World 9 app on, place it in your pocket, and then proceed to jump up and down manically while onlookers stare in awe of your new ability to mimic Mario’s jumping sound effect. I spent several days trying to catch people off guard by hopping around the room like I was Super TechGOnzio Brothers. Possibly the greatest invention of all time (unless they come out with one that mimics the Fire Flower Power sound effect.)

Dice Bag

Plenty of self respecting geeks own a few pairs of 20-sided dice. Personally, I am not one of them because dice are f$%*ing lame. But then again I don’t really need to since I have the iPhone’s Dice Bag app, which gives me access to ten different multi-sided die. I don’t play Dungeons & Dragons nor have I really ever enjoyed Magic: The Gathering. I sort of find them more boring than watching golf. But it’s extremely amusing to say no when card gaming geeks inquire about using my phone for the Dice Bag app during a game.

RimShot & Crickets

This app consists of one shiny red button that plays four familiar sounds that have the potential to enhance the conversation, and thus, your standing in any social circle. Timing, of course, is everything so you really have to plot when to press the red button. For example, after a joke press it for the sound of a rimshot, crickets, or the surprisingly accurate “Golf Clap.” If those don’t impress you, the fourth sound, a cartoony trombone, is definitely the mightiest. No matter how witty someone is, if you press the button immediately following their statement, you can make them sound ridiculous.

Honorable Mention: Watchmen

I cannot…WILL not endorse the iPhone’s Watchmen movie application. Despite the cool interactive menu that features trailers, Dave Gibbons artwork, and other bits & pieces, it fails to make the list of apps geeks must check out. Even if I did want to endorse this app, I couldn’t. If I did, Alan Moore’s astral presence would appear in front of me with deadly stare of disgust and then take away my ability to see.