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Spoiler Talk: Splice
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Guy_Jen   |  
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SpliceAre you looking for something that will make you think that you have been dosed with a weird drug in your popcorn butter? Well Splice will do that without a doubt. If you are looking for an odd trip through the world of science fiction with a mix of morality and touch of suspense, than this is definitely your movie.

Adrien Brody plays his normal out there character, Clive, that we have all started to expect out of him. We also get Elsa, an odd almost sadistic character portrayed by Sarah Polley. Along with these two human characters we also get Dren, a heavily CGI creature played by Delphine Chaneac and Abigail Chu that will probably keep you thoroughly weirded out throughout the entire movie.

So if you are a fan of movies like Alien or Predator, than get ready for a very interesting ride through cloning and other ethical dilemmas. Science fiction will definitely not be revolutionized by this movie, but it is an interesting movie that gets the audience to ask a lot of questions of the world and themselves. Overall I had a good experience with this very rare quality sci-fi flick and would definitely recommend it to friends who don’t mind a very weird experience at the movies.

Well whether or not you are ready for it, it is that time again SPOILER TALK! The following are my spoiler-filled thoughts about the movie and you should definitely stop by the comment section and leave your thoughts as well.

SPOILERS

WARNING: If you have not seen Splice, do NOT read any further. There will be SPOILERS below.

-Ok so the first thing we are introduced are the creatures Fred and Ginger and I am not sure what they were going for with this, but I definitely just see two brains crawling around. Well at least at first it looked that way until they grew some sort of mouth/anus.

-Their program’s initials spell out N.E.R.D.? I mean come on, am I reading a marvel comic now?

-So, you are going to try to make some new crazy clone and you use computers that run on Windows 98? I mean come on, at least try to make it look a little bit futuristic and whip out an iPad or something! It would have been hilarious if every time the error message popped up it was the guy from the Jurassic Park computers saying “Ah Ah Ah.”

-Now at this time I just want to point out that Clive now and throughout this entire movie really likes to wear snarky/geeky T-shirts. He probably shopped at Hot Topic or one of the million online T-shirt stores. Included in these shirts is the “I Bring Nothing to the Table,” the evolution shirt, his lab coat with all the patches, and various other out there clothes.

-Not only do they really take the nerd thing too far with the name of the company and all the Clive clothes, but then they made up a special “Double Helix” high five. Seriously? I GET IT, YOU’RE A NERD!

-Heads up Elsa, pink camouflage went out of style last decade!

-Ok now a seizure involves laughing creepily? Weird.

-Wow my first thought is how the heck does this thing even come close to looking like a humanoid? It totally looks like a fish. Well at least the second form looks a little closer, almost like a mixture between a marsupial and a monkey.

-Okay something is definitely weird with keeping all of your childhood stuff in a box directly next to your bed. Obviously you don’t want to forget bad enough to pack it all up in the attic or something.

-All right, I get that the lab is a sterile environment and all, but why would you have sex right there? I mean come on you know there is no door and something is going to happen. See what did I say! Clive tell Elsa! What are you doing Clive you know this will cause problems down the road!

-Now the Brains are battling. This could be a movie in itself. We will call it Killer Brains from Outer Space! Seriously though why wouldn’t you just show the footage of when they first meet? I mean what does the two of the creatures interacting have anything to do with the enzymes that you need? Well it was all worth it just to see the looks on all those smug scientists face when they are splattered by Brain thingy gore! Oh yeah and Ginger is now a dude which is totally a topic for the Jerry Springer Show. “Fred how do you feel about Gingers recent change?” “Well Jerry I feel like driving a spike into Ginger over and over again.”

-Do you think we could possibly put a little more thought in to the name? I mean nerd backwards? That is a tad bit lazy. No? Ok then Dren it is.

-Of course Clive knew it would save her! Drowning is the first thing everyone thinks of to save someone’s life.

-Wow those wings are awesome. I wonder what animal gene that is from. Reminds me of a dragonfly, but why would you add dragonfly? And it’s not like you would know exactly what part each DNA would provide so what happens if it gets like the worst parts of each animal?

-Well dancing is definitely the most important thing to learn. Seriously though Clive you already knew this was getting creepy why would you get all up on Dren if you were already nervous around her.

-Elsa used her own DNA so she could give “herself” a better life than she had yet she beats her kid in order to make her listen. Great Job Elsa.

-Ok here is where I wonder how this movie is only rated R. I mean this is pretty much Skinemax material. So you are telling me that Kevin Smith can’t use the title A Couple of Dicks because it is too sexual, but you can show this? Well at least Clive has an excuse. “She had your DNA baby, it’s not technically cheating!”

-Clive now has the best line of the entire movie: “What the fuck is going on?” Seriously Clive I have been saying that this ENTIRE movie. This is very closely followed by the second best line of the movie: “Inside you” because obviously the first thing Dren learned was irony. I laughed my ass off after that. Oh yeah and if you already have a graphic sex scene you might as well include rape as well. I mean Dren grew the parts necessary just so she could all of a sudden completely change personality and try to kill everyone.

-Oh great hopefully this pregnancy doesn’t lead to a Splice 2 because I think this movie said all it needed to say. I mean that obviously doesn’t mean anything to Hollywood, but I just hope another decent movie isn’t ruined by over saturation because people got tired of Splice at the eighth movie.

Your turn… What did you think of Splice? Was it too weird for your taste or just enough weird? How does it compare to some of the classic Science Fiction movies?

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