How To Survive A Horror Movie
All the Skills to Dodge the Kills
Paperback | Kindle | Audiobook
By Seth Grahame-Smith
Publisher: Quirk Books
Release date: September 24, 2019
Released by Quirk Books, one of the best publishers of fun and original genre literature, Seth Grahame-Smith’s How To Survive A Horror Movie is a love note to the “poor bastards” who inevitably get killed by the psychos, slashers, and madmen of cinema. Grahame-Smith originally wrote this in 2007 when he was struggling to pay rent, and has since gone on to become a New York Times Best Selling author with books like horror-parodies Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2009) and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2010). He wrote screenplays for the latter as well as The LEGO Batman Movie before producing the amazingly successful IT: Chapter I (2017). With over a decade of success in and around the horror industry, Grahame-Smith updated the book with new sections, artwork, and over a decade’s worth of horror films to glean from as he advises us faithful horror fans in the art of surviving our favorite genre.
Featuring the original Foreword by the late great Wes Craven, the book, subtitled All the Skills to Dodge the Kills, is a fast and hilarious 175 pages from door to door. This is totally one of those “leave it out on the table” books as you can read and reread different parts at random continuously. Want to craft a good survival plan? Use the C.R.A.V.E.N. model. Learn the seven deadly horror movie sins… and figure out how many you’ve already done. Identify the five types of slashers, learn how to defeat killer dolls, and for parents, a convenient list of ten items to NEVER put in your child’s room. And then there’s the best piece of advice: in order to defeat the Devil himself, show him your &%#@!
Zombies, vampires, alien invaders… Seth Grahame-Smith somehow covers the entire “Terrorverse,” alerting us to the common tropes and helping you plan your escape. The book is insightful, funny, and a must-have companion for any horror fan. It’s even better for those just getting into the genre as he’s updated his appendix of “study materials” to include modern horror films such as 2017’s Get Out, 2015’s The VVitch, and 2018’s Hereditary.
Written by best-selling author, screenwriter, and producer Seth Grahame-Smith (Stephen King’s It), with an introduction by horror icon Wes Craven (A Nightmare on Elm Street), this is a hilarious must-read for any horror movie fan…and it just might save your life.
Are you reading this in a cornfield, at a summer camp, or in an abandoned mental institution? Have you noticed that everything is poorly lit, or that music surges every time you open a door? If the answer is yes, you’re probably trapped in a horror movie. But don’t freak out—just read this book! With it you will learn how to overcome every obstacle found in scary films, including:
• How to determine what type of horror film you’re trapped in
• The five types of slashers and how to defeat them
• How to handle killer dolls, murderous automobiles, and other haunted objects
• How to deal with alien invasions, zombie apocalypses, and other global threats
• What to do if you did something last summer, if your corn has children in it, or if you suspect you’re already dead
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