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All Machine, No Man: Thoughts On The First ‘RoboCop’ Remake Trailer
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BAADASSSSS!   |  
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Robocop

On Thursday, the first trailer for next February’s RoboCop reboot/remake was released. I watched it twice – the first time squinting and achingly readjusting my eyesight as a YouTube embed played on my trading card-sized cell phone screen; the second time in high-definition on my laptop. Viewing it initially with lackluster screen resolution and barely passable sound quality, I felt that I couldn’t judge the content fairly, since I was only able to process a flurry of rapid-fire images. The most visually appalling that I could recall were Samuel L. Jackson‘s hairpiece and some the sight of the iconic cyborg police officer of a crime-ridden Detroit re-envisioned (and I use that term so loosely it would not stick even if I used applied super glue and hammered nails into it, crucifixion style) as the stillborn love child of Mike Baron and Steve Rude’s sci-fi comic book superhero Nexus and one of those Jaeger pilot suits from Pacific Rim.

So I waited until the second time when I could finally hear and see everything the trailer had to offer to decide for myself if this 2:20 spot that us fans of the original RoboCop had been waiting for with the kind of anticipation that can reduce your stomach lining to beef jerky was a positive sign of things to come. As it turns out, I shouldn’t have bothered with the second viewing because I hadn’t really missed anything on my initial viewing of the trailer. No matter what size you watch it on, be it Google Glass or IMAX, the trailer for the rebooted RoboCop represents everything the bad buzz that has been gathering and festering for months like locusts feasting on the decaying remains of Bubonic plague victims was priming us for: ugly, bland, humorless, monotonous, and derivative of not only the original RoboCop movies, but of every jacked-up and failed superhero movie ever made by a major studio.

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First Look: Joel Kinnaman On Set As RoboCop!
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Adam Frazier   |  @   |  
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RoboCop: First Look at Kinnaman

Thanks to our friends at ComingSoon.net, the film enthusiast community has their first look at Joel Kinnaman (The Killing) in the new RoboCop suit! Director Jose Padilha‘s remake of RoboCop began filming today in Toronto, where Kinnaman was spotted in costume. Check out the photos here below.

Recently, a draft of the screenplay by Josh Zetumer and Nick Schenk was leaked onto the Internet, which revealed that there would be numerous versions of RoboCop as OmniCorp refined their design, so while I doubt this will be the only RoboCop suit you see Kinnaman in; I think this is probably the final, combat-ready design.

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Gary Oldman Joins ‘RoboCop’ Remake
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Adam Frazier   |  @   |  
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RoboCop Remake Gary Oldman

You’ve seen him play tag-team partner to Batman and Harry Potter, now Gary Oldman will help RoboCop kick ass in Old Detroit.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Oldman has joined the cast of Jose Padilha‘s RoboCop remake, which stars Joel Kinnaman (The Killing) as Officer Alex J. Murphy, a man resurrected and reborn as a cyborg police officer.

THR says that Oldman will play Norton, “the scientist who creates RoboCop and finds himself torn between the ideals of the machine trying to rediscover its humanity and the callous needs of a corporation.”

In my recent feature RoboCop: Electric Dreams and Cybernetic Wishes, I referenced an April report from The Tracking Board that first mentioned the character of Norton. At the time, Edward Norton was in talks for the role.

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MGM Is Back With ‘RoboCop,’ ‘Poltergeist’ & ‘Mr. Mom’ Remakes
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The Movie God   |  @   |  
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And round ‘n’ round we go!

Remakes of movies like RoboCop and Poltergeist have been around for quite a while now, but appeared to be casualties of the many financial complications faced by MGM recently. Since then, the studio has figured some things out, made a couple moves, and saved their two top properties in The Hobbit and James Bond 23.

Next up for MGM was getting a trio of remakes of theirs back into motion. It’s being reported that thought-to-be-deceased remakes of the previously mentioned RoboCop and Poltergeist, as well as a remake of Mr. Mom are said to be back on and currently in motion.

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‘Underworld’ Director Len Wiseman To Deliver ‘Total Recall’ Remake
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The Movie God   |  @   |  
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Columbia Pictures presidents Doug Belgrad and Matt Tolmach have announced that Underworld director Len Wiseman is in final negotiations to direct their remake of the 1990 Paul Verhoeven science fiction favorite, Total Recall. Though still at a late negotiation stage, a press release was put out by the studio (via /Film) to make the announcement, meaning this is a done deal.

Wiseman is best known as the director of Underworld and Underworld: Evolution. He also directed Live Free or Die Hard and is expected to return to helm Underworld 4. He was at one time attached to bring us the feature adaptation of hit video game Gears of War, but budgetary restrictions have that project facing an uncertain future.

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Movie Review: My Bloody Valentine 3D
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WordSlinger   |  
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My Bloody Valentine 3D movie posterMy Bloody Valentine 3D
Directed by Patrick Lussier
Starring Jensen Ackles, Jaime King, Kerr Smith, Betsy Rue
Rated R
Release Date: January 16, 2009

Movies get made on a single gimmick all the time. It’s a shame when creative writing takes a back seat to an idea that gets people into seats just to see it play out. Sometimes, it’s the pairing of two well-known actors, sometimes it’s a single actor playing a nontraditional role, sometimes it’s just visual gimmick. In the case of the remake of My Bloody Valentine 3D it’s the latter, but that should be obvious from the title.

I have to admit that the 3D aspect of the film is the only thing that got me interested to see what would otherwise be a typical slasher flick with a masked mystery man. Though the original may have gathered a strong following two decades ago, the remake is one of those in a long line of remakes that probably should not have been made.

3D has been done before, so it’s nothing to get terribly excited about. Friday the 13th part 3 was in 3D, as was the climax of Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare. Though the latter only had a small portion of the film driven by this effect, the former looks downright silly when watching it with the added dimension. So I can only imagine the same will be true when this version of My Bloody Valentine is released on DVD. I’m only able to guess because I don’t think I’ll ever be able to sit through the entire film again, even though I was allowed to keep my 3D glasses when I left the theater. Sure, some of the scenes looked pretty cool, but not enough to warrant a second viewing.

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‘Hellraiser’ Remake Director Won’t Betray Clive Barker’s Work
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Dave3   |  @   |  
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I wrote a scathing piece regarding the planned Crow remake that discussed how Hollywood is tearing up my favorite movies to bits and using them for kindling in a derelict’s dumpster fire. It’s a few weeks later and sure, I can rectify sound financial reasoning, but I still can’t fathom a good artistic reason for remaking the Crow. Now I find myself in the equally unenviable position of writing about the upcoming Hellraiser remake. My initial reaction is an even deeper feeling of illness than a Crow remake, but attached writer/director Pascal Laugier was able to do something that Crow redux director Stephen Norrington was not — instill me with a feeling of comfort for his decision to tackle the remake.

In an interview with The Northlander of AICN at a post-screening for his most recent horror film Martyrs, Laugier was asked about his plans for the Hellraiser remake, his motivation for accepting the project, and his thoughts on the omnipresent remake trend. For Laugier, remaking Hellraiser is “a child’s dream coming true” and he has no intention of betraying Clive Barker‘s work. “I want to do a fresh film filled with a lot of unexpected and surprising things. At the same time, I want it to be connected to the real, original material,” said Laugier.

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Russell Brand Looking To Remake ‘Arthur’
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The Movie God   |  @   |  
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ArthurRussell Brand — the lanky British rocker guy from Forgetting Sarah Marshall — is currently developing a script for a remake to Dudley Moore‘s 1981 movie, Arthur.

The original followed an alcoholic Moore, who finds himself in a peculiar situation where he’s forced to choose between endless wealth with the women he is marrying, and endless happiness with the girl he’s fallen in love with.

Sounds prime for a romantic comedy remake, if you ask me.

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Clive Barker Hates PG-13 Horror, OK With Remakes
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The Movie God   |  @   |  
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Clive BarkerClive Barker spoke to MTV and said something you hear rarely these days — he’s all for the remakes of his movies Hellraiser and Candyman. He feels that so long as there’s a good story to be told, why not go and re-visit these characters we know and love?

The writer/director goes on to say that the last few Hellraiser movies went and just used the character to make money with no story, so they didn’t work, but if the story is great, he’s excited for the new ones.

Barker also touched on the dreaded PG-13 rating and its place in the horror genre. What he says is pretty much identical to my views on it, so I’m quoting as much as I can get in hopes that maybe Clive Barker throwing it down will be a little clearer to all of those people who say, “They can get away with a lot of stuff in PG-13 these days, so it’s no concern.”

It’s one of the most disgusting developments in the last few years; the whole notion of a PG-13 horror movie to me is a contradiction in terms. It’s like having a XXX Disney picture. It doesn’t work. To me, you don’t have to throw blood around in every scene, but there has to be a sense — and this is not my quote, it’s Wes Craven’s quote. Wes says that ‘When you go into a horror movie, you need to feel that you’re in the hands of a madman.’ Now what madman makes a PG-13 picture, right? Your horror-movie madman…doesn’t neaten up all the edges and make it all nice for mommy. They [studios] do it because they want to bring in younger audiences and make more money. But they don’t make better movies.
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