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DVD Review: Raging Boll
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Uwe Boll

Raging Boll
DVD
Directed by Dan Lee West
Starring Uwe Boll
Olive Films
Release Date: October 21, 2014

On September 23, 2006 four online film writers were selected from an extensive pool of challengers to go head-to-head with controversial German director Uwe Boll in one round of boxing at the Plaza of Nations entertainment complex located in Vancouver, British Columbia. The event had all of the marks of being a public relations stunt of the lowest stunt, but it held a morbid curiosity value for longtime detractors of Boll and anyone who ever wanted to see a filmmaker actually take on some of their most vocal critics with punches rather than words.

The four critics selected were Rue Morgue writer and current Fangoria editor Chris Alexander, Ain’t It Cool News writer Jeff Sneider, amateur boxer and Internet critic Nelson Chance Minter, and Something Awful webmaster and CEO Rich Kyanka.

The event was heavily hyped and dubbed Raging Boll by promoters. That’s also the name given to this 2010 documentary directed by Dan Lee West, who worked in various capacities on a few of Boll’s earlier films prior to becoming a filmmaker, which is just now receiving its first American DVD release courtesy of Olive Films.

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Blu-ray Review: Zombie Massacre
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Zombie Massacre

Zombie Massacre
Blu-ray
Directed by Marco Ristori and Luca Boni
Starring Christian Boeving, Mike Mitchell, and Ivy Corbin
Entertainment One
Release Date: August 6, 2013

Notorious German filmmaker and professional Internet punching bag Uwe Boll is a very busy man. He can’t take every mediocre video game on the market and turn it into a lazy, joyless exercise in next generation schlock all by himself. So in the case of Zombie Massacre – also known by its World War Z cash-in alternate title Apocalypse Z – he gracefully ceded the directing honors he usually reserves for his little old self to not one, but two individuals this time: Marco Ristori and Luca Boni. Looking at those names as I type them suddenly gave me a craving for chicken cacciatore. Meanwhile, Dr. Boll is in the midst of pre-production on his next five movies – three of which began filming early this month – and hard at work on stoking the fires of fan boy enmity. Zombie Massacre could have really used his directorial gifts.

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Streaming Review: Seed
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cGt2099   |  
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Streaming banner: Seed

SeedSeed
Netflix | Google Play | YouTube | Vudu
DVD
Directed by Uwe Boll
Starring Will Sanderson, Michael Paré, Ralf Möller, Jodelle Ferland, Michael Eklund
Vivendi Entertainment
Originally Released: April 27, 2007

I recently had a long discussion with a good friend about my ever-ongoing obsession with horror films, and my quest to find more movies that were visually challenging.

"Oh, you need to see Seed," she told me. Being a horror aficionado herself, she surprised me continuing with, "I even had trouble watching it".

Naturally I added it to the top of my queue.

Directed by "love him or hate him" Uwe Boll, Seed follows the story of imprisoned serial killer Maxwell "Max" Seed (Will Sanderson). Arrested for his morbid death toll of 666 deaths (as cheesy as that sounds, it’s fitting as you will later read), he is on death row facing execution. Despite protest from the Executioner (Michael Eklund) to Warden Calgrove (Ralf Möller) on the failing condition of the electric chair, the authorities push forward with zapping Seed.

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The Infamous Uwe Boll Jumps Into The Undead Ring With ‘Zombie Massacre’
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The Movie God   |  @   |  
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Zombie Massacre

You’d be hard–pressed to find actual fans of Uwe Boll—the director behind such video game adaptations as House of the Dead, Bloodrayne, and Far–Cry, not to mention many others—and sometimes it would seem that that’s just the way the German–born filmmaker prefers it.

Now Boll is getting involved with the living dead, with a new movie called Zombie Massacre. It’s based on a 1998 Amiga computer video game (seen here; not sure why all of the “zombies” look like Sammy Hagar) along the same lines as Doom that’s also called Gloom 4.

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DVD Review: ‘Postal’ Unrated (Blu-ray)
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Jack Bauerstein83   |  
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Postal Unrated DVDPostal
Blu-ray – Unrated Edition
Directed by Uwe Boll
Starring Zack Ward, Dave Foley, J.K. Simmons, Verne Troyer, Erick Avari, Seymour Cassel
Vivendi Entertainment
Release date: August 26, 2008

Making movies based on video games is definitely a slippery slope in the movie industry. Other than Resident Evil, which did well enough in the box office to spawn two sequels, seeing a successful movie based on a video game is about as rare as a watchable Uwe Boll movie. I was hoping that after watching Postal on Blu-ray, a movie not only directed by Boll but also based on a video game, I could kill two birds with one stone.

The movie follows a young man, named “Postal Dude,” who feels the world is against him. He blows his job interview, his obese wife is cheating on him, and to make matters worse, he is living in a trailer park. Fed up with life, he joins his Uncle Dave, a leader of a cult filled to the brim with scantily clad babes and accompany him in his quest to spread his message. What follows is lots of gunfire, lewd humor, Osama Bin Laden, and Verne Troyer.

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DVD Review: Postal (Unrated)
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Dr. Royce Clemens   |  
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Postal DVD
Postal
Unrated Edition
Directed by Uwe Boll
Starring Zack Ward, Dave Foley, J.K. Simmons, Verne Troyer, Erick Avari, Seymour Cassel
Vivendi Entertainment
Release date: August 26, 2008

Of all the filmmakers that have had cults spring up around them, from M. Night Shyamalan apologists to people who think Michael Bay is the savior we’ve been waiting for, none have deserved it any less that Uwe Boll. He found out one day that he had talent in the negative integers, and tried turning THAT into a marketing ploy. But even at this level of self-awareness, he gets all bent out of shape and starts fights (both verbal and physical) with people who don’t automatically agree with the sub-amateur shit he opts to pump out. At the drop of a hat, he turns into a kind of Teutonic Yosemite Sam.

So, sure enough, a bunch of quasi-retarded, uber-ironic film geeks have surrounded him, calling him “honest” and “a rogue.” In the Cult of Boll, the actual movies he makes become secondary. Wow… I guess you can’t underestimate the power of stupid people in medium-sized groups, either.

So now we have Postal, which is Boll’s first (intentional) comedy. Needless to say, Postal is not funny in the slightest, as Boll fails at everything he sets out to do. He’s quite splendid at being rancid and boring the living shit out of me, but I don’t think that was the plan.

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