Offended By Portrayal In ‘Star Wars’, Tusken Raiders Launch #CancelStarWars
By Empress Eve
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Tuesday, April 1st, 2014 at 8:49 pm
Displeased by their portrayal throughout the Star Wars saga and the use of the derogatory term “Sand People,” the Tusken Raiders have launched the hashtag campaign #CancelStarWars, which calls for an end to the popular science fiction franchise.
First introduced to audiences with 1977’s Star Wars, the Tusken Raiders, or Tuskens, say they are offended by the franchise’s frequent use of the ethnic slur “Sand People” when referring to their warrior race, according to URoRRuR’R’R, the Tusken leader best remembered for his attack on Luke Skywalker in the first film.
“This is an outrage,” said URoRRuR’R’R, who spoke to Geeks Of Doom exclusively while stripping a nearby landspeeder for parts. “Our proper name was not uttered once in Star Wars: A New Hope, but yet ‘Sand People’ was used no less than 16 times.”
“Generations of children have been buying action figures labeled ‘Sand People’ and we all know that merchandising is where the money is,” URoRRuR’R’R added, while waving a Gaffi stick above his head. “Star Wars needs to be put to an end once and for all.”
When reached for comment, Disney, which purchased LucasFilm and the Star Wars franchise over a year ago, said that while they have no plans to alter their merchandise packaging, they do plan to make amends for what Star Wars mastermind George Lucas started nearly 40 years ago. The company is working on putting together The Star Wars Sand People Foundation For Tusken Raiders, a charitable organization to benefit the clans people by providing “meaningful and measurable resources that provide genuine opportunities for Tribal communities.”
While the Foundation might be a start in making amends for decades of using the ethnic slur, there’s still a few other matters the Tuskens have issue with, including being called cowards.
“Thanks to that old jerk saying we’re ‘easily startled,’ every asshole with assess to the Internet keeps sharing stupid memes about us,” said URoRRuR’R’R, referring the popular “Sand People are easily startled” Internet meme. “We hunt and slay Krayt dragons!” said the Tusken leader, referring to the time Ben “Obi-Wan” Kenobi mimicked the hunting cry of the reptilian Krayt dragon to get the Tuskens away from Luke Skywalker. “We don’t easily startle, thank you.”
[The Tusken Raiders are pissed about this popular Internet meme.]
But according to URoRRuR’R’R, there’s actually something Star Wars has done that’s even worse than calling his people “easily startled Sand People,” and that’s the implication that Stormtroopers have better aim then Tusken Raiders. In the first film, Luke and Obi-Wan come upon a smoldering Jawa Sandcrawler and the evidence at the scene of destruction — Gaffi sticks and Bantha tracks — leads Luke to believe that it was an attack by Tuskens, but Obi-Wan says it was just made to look that way.
“…these blast points are too accurate for Sand People,” Obi-Wan says in the film. “Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise.”
“This is by far the worst insult of them all,” said URoRRuR’R’R, as he readied to mount his Bantha. “How dare that old fossil insinuate that Stormtroopers have better aim than Tusken Raiders? Is this guy for real? He should go back to dragon calls and leave the detective work to someone else.”
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Students of the Unusual™ comic cover used with permission of 3BoysProductions
The Mercuri Bros.™ comic cover used with permission of Prodigal Son Press
This is brilliant!
Comment by Daigoji — April 1, 2014 @ 8:57 pm
So funny :-)
Comment by Jason — April 1, 2014 @ 9:14 pm
Hysterical!
Comment by tstar69 — April 2, 2014 @ 9:18 am