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Movie Review: Transformers
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Dave3   |  @   |  
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Transformers“Michael Bay, please don’t destroy my childhood.”

That was the predominant thought in my mind as the theater darkened and the ubiquitous husky timbre of Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen) began his voice-over. You’re familiar with Transformers. You know the deal. Two opposing sects of giant robots from the planet Cybertron, who have the ability to change into vehicles, are warring over energy with Earth as their battleground. I’ll do you a solid courtesy by saving you from my rant-o-rific fanboy spiel but make no mistake, Transformers were a big part of my childhood — like Pokémon/Magic Cards/Naruto big — so you can imagine my apprehension.

Going into this viewing, I was thinking how I just couldn’t take yet another mediocre film making a mockery of my adolescent ardor, but let’s be honest here, at this point so long as the effects held-up and there’s no impromptu dance sequences, I would probably just give it the nod. After the long line of dreck Hollywood has insulted us with this summer, Transformers could be nothing more than a dozen rounds of CGI’d automatons beating the crap out of each other and most people would call it the tits.

Well thank GoD I wasn’t forced to settle! This summer’s blockbuster has finally arrived people. Only it’s not a mere blockbuster, it’s a two and a half hour atomic bomb… strapped to a roller-coaster… filled with snakes… on fire!

Right from the start Michael Bay does an excellent job of setting the tone — small human moments peppered with light comedy juxtaposed with sheer earth-shattering terror. The story, which centers around adolescents Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) and Mikaela Banes (Megan Fox), stays true enough to the source material — there’s transforming robots, there’s a MacGuffin (in the cartoon series it was Energon, in this film it’s the All-Spark… does it really matter?) and the Autobots and Decepticons are both vying for it.

But what about the action? That’s what this is all about, right? I’m so jaded at this point that I sat in the theater weakly swearing to myself about how this could end up being just another action flick with the usual eye-straining jump-cut skirmishes, car chases, and explosions. (We know you can do cars and explosions Mr. Bay, we’ve all seen Bad Boys II.) And I’m sure anyone (read: ILM) can make robots look all cool strutting around in front of a camera for a few seconds at a time, but as soon as the fighting gets hot ‘n heavy, is it gonna play with us and hide the real action behind a shaky camera and a deft editor on crank?

While the opening action segment blew me away on the sheer ferocity of it alone, honestly, I still felt teased and remained weary.

Then it happened. The wide shot. The slo-mo. The full-on robot-a-robot fist-a-cuffs (heh, that’s allota dashes). Suddenly all bets were off. Unabashed visuals so incredibly pulled-off that I nearly welled up with tears instantly erasing every concern that I had carried with me since I had learned Michael ‘Bad Boys’ Bay was adapting my beloved Transformers. Think back for a moment to when you first saw the Matrix‘s bullet-time. You just knew immediately that the world of special effects had been forever changed. Well, Transformers grabs that same SFX bar lofted up by the Wachowski Brothers and launches it into the freakin’ ionosphere.

Face it, the effects are the very reason you wanted to see this film made in the first place and you know it. Well rest easy, my friends. Transformers is brimming with immense battle scenes. The fight sequences and set-pieces are so epic in scale and realization that, as I said before, the film can rest on them alone. They’re the kind of battles we dreamt up as kids made “real.”

One thing that’s quite different from the original is that I was scared shitless of the Decepticons — they are not your cartoon Decepticons, they are fucking ruthless and scary. I really felt for bad for the Autobots. Peter Cullen’s Optimus Prime = Awesome (yeah, even with the lips). And while I did my fair share of bitching and moaning when they slighted original Megatron voicer, Frank Welker in favor of Hugo Weaving, Megatron talks so little in the film that it’s ultimately a non-issue.

I honestly wasn’t expecting very much from the human contingent of the cast, but on a whole they’re able to hold their own amidst the huge shadow of SFX and set-pieces. LaBeouf’s performance as Sam is excellent. He’s really coming into his own as an action star and I expect we’ll see him in that guise a lot in the coming years. The supporting cast is solid enough, with Jon Voight as the hands-on Secretary of Defense, Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson representing the enlisted military contingent with balls of titanium, John Tutorro as a low rent M.I.B. impersonator, and Anthony Anderson as ultra computer hacker/comic relief.

At the heart of it all it’s the relationship between Sam and his car Bumblebee (Mark Ryan) that we need to buy for the movie to work beyond blue-screen. We are initially subjected to bits of juvenile awkwardness, but it’s kept tolerably brief. And overall, the few moments of comedy and robotic folly that pepper the script work to its advantage, if only to contrast the insanely dark moments later on.

Make no mistake, this film is about the effects. If you’re expecting to find deep philosophical meaning at the root of the robots’ war, you might need to reevaluate your movie-going priorities. But thanks to a strong script from Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci, there actually is, ahem, more than meets the eye here.

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  • WELL PISS MY PANTS AND SLAP ME SIDEWAYS.

    TRANSFORMERS.

    CAN.

    NOT.

    WAIT.

    I FEEL WARM.

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  • AT FRIGGIN LAST!

    I cant wait neither.

  • desdemona

    I can’t wait. I have to admit that even with all the disappointment that comes with watching a movie now a days I was excited to see it before, but after reading this I have gone beyond excited :D

  • As a girl who loved the Transformers growing up in the 1980’s, I always wanted to see what these guys would look like in real life and as soon as I heard that a live action movie was in the works, I was so happy. For a girl liking Transformers in the 80’s was just wrong and tomboyish and it is only until recently that I told my other half Sam (Manic_Rage) about how much I loved this show and was over the moon that it was finally being made into a live action movie.

    When I hear that a film is going to be made I take the stand point where I like to look at the medium that the story is being told in whether it be animation or film, and I can understand that there are alot of people out there who feel that ‘their’ rights are being taken away when such a film like this is being made, that there childhood is being treated unfairly. The one thing that alot of people do myself included is as soon as a film like TRANSFORMERS is in the works and then all the press, leaked scripts, videos etc are set free whether there be truth in them or not, people can’t help but want to see/read as much as they possibly can about it, and can feel let down somewhat when there are things there that they may not have envisaged themselves, such as the ‘lips’ issue.

    I am going into the cinema with a clean slated mind, as I can get quite emotional about science fiction films, E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL being my all time favourite movie, having seen images of ‘Bumblebee’ and certain footage of him being shot at, like when I remember him from the 80’s I just know that I will have a big lump in my throat and then the tears will follow and there isn’t a godamn thing I will be able to do about it, but I will just let it all go, as this is what film is all about, it’s an escape. I know that ‘Bumblebee’ was a beetle before and now he is a Camaro, but I personally feel that as we are now in 2007 and the film is set in the present day that it will run in line with the screenplay, Sam ‘Spike’wants an impressive car as he is at ‘that’ age, and ‘Bumblebee’ ‘wants’ or moreover ‘needs’ to be picked, it is ‘their’ destiny to be friends and to form a bond. Afterall, isn’t it what’s underneath that really matters, these TRANSFORMERS all have different characters, by the way they act, conduct themselves,what drives them in their lives, their outer bodies, aren’t their ‘true’ spirit, or are they? Some may disagree, there is ‘more than meets the eye,’ but is that due to their transformation or their soul?…

  • Okay, okay, i give in. I’ll see it in the theatre. I’ll like it. Maybe even love it. And I won’t do no mo’ complainin’ ’bout the physical changes to my beloved icons.

  • I like what Dave has written about being terrified of the Decepticons, compare Starscream to the way he was in the 1986 film and to now…back then I found him really funny and quite camp to be honest, and he didn’t scare me at all. But if you were to meet a real-life Starscream, with the intended character/personality that he was meant to be then the film version would more likely be more realistic. I can still remember the song ‘You got the Power’ when we see Optimus turning into his truck form in the 86 film, awwww.

    How about Hugo Weaving as a Starscream? He has the campish voice ‘Ah, Mr. Anderson’….

  • vwshouldapaid

    I think VW shoulda paid much like GM paid to buy the transformers. and left bumblebee a god dang VW. I understand liberties with tech that has changed over the last 20-25 years, no cassettes any more etc… but there IS a new bettle. it is of the same soul as the original.

    i havent seen the movie so im not saying its NOT a good action movie.. but it IS very UNTRUE to the original.

  • Barador

    I work at Hasbro just saw it today as well. I was pleasantly surprised. My expectations were met and the only scenes I was mad about were the ones with humans in it. Brilliance! Hope you all enjoy it as well.

  • Dan

    Sorry but this movie looks like a overblown car commercial. No thanks. And with Michail bay’s track record…it’s pretty much a guaranteed stinker.

  • @Dan

    Well, as you can plainly see from my review, that is *EXACTLY* how I felt about Michael Bay going into this movie too.

    Bay proved me wrong. Very wrong.

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  • Also saw it last night, review is here: Just got back from seeing Transformers *SPOILERS*

  • Chris

    Dave, thanks for the great review. Like you, I was concerned about Bay’s track record and how much he’d screw up the movie. I like the ‘bots and what they’ve done with them. I still feel a little apprehensive, but I’m sure like any good TF geek, I’ll go, be blown away, and jump in line to see it again.

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  • First of all, excellent review, very well written and funny.

    Second, I actually wasn’t planning on watching this movie. I also am a transformer’s fan since my childhood, but in fear of being traumatized by a horrible adaptation I preferred to stay away, and let Michael Bay bask in the glory of his blockbuster in my absence.

    Your review has made me think twice about my previous decision. I am going to go see it now. Hope you are right.

  • billy bob

    how did Dave3 get to see this already ?

    How do I get onboard that ride ?

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  • Jigglypuffaroth

    I can’t get behind Hollywood’s transformation (pun intended) of this wonderful franchise. While I have not seen the movie, I have read the adaptation and honestly other than the obvious visual effects the actual movie will contain it left me feeling like Godzilla with Matthew Broderick.

    I have 8 reasons (technically more but..) why its not what it should have been for me.

    For some this could be

    ****SPOILAGE****

    (you are warned).

    1. A teenage girl kills a transformer with a rotary saw
    2. Sam can use Military assault hardware
    3. Sam using said HW can kill Decepticons while the actual Military is not as effective
    4. Sam’s tally of Decepticons also includes Optimus’s brother
    5. Megatron dies when he receives the one object the Decepticons have been pursuing the entire movie (very anticlimactic)
    6. Sam’s buddy Bumble Bee (a Camaro) does not die from being torn in half
    7. It can basically be classified as a buddy movie

    Now, I know others will disagree (maybe even most) and think this is a credit to the original source material I can’t. Maybe it comes across better in celluloid but I can’t bring myself to go now, I have been tainted already.

    I loved Transformers as a child and maybe that is it, I am looking at this through an adult’s eye with the fond but fuzzy memories of my youth guiding me. I loved Godzilla, Super Friends, Transformers, GI JOE, Dungeons & Dragons, and a myriad other cartoon on weekend mornings when I was little, but when watching them now I can’t believe how I could have such fond memories being how silly they truly were at times. That’s the youth’s guilty pleasure. I honestly miss it.

    The 80s were full of shows where everyone had a buddy and the heroes never died and no matter how close to defeat or impossible the odds the heroes would pull out the victory at the last second and that is exactly what this movie is. If that is what it is suppose to be then it is dead on target and a new generation of 8 year olds will fall in love with them again…

  • @Jigglypuffaroth

    ****SPOILERS****

    1. It’s a monkey sized transformer, and she doesn’t kill it.
    2. Why couldn’t Sam fire a gun?
    3. The military is as effective as anyone else in the movie.
    4. No tally in the movie
    5. Megatron is ‘killed’ by a power overload. No problems there.
    6. Bumble Bee’s legs are ripped off. Even you could survive that.
    7. I’d agree, it’s a great addition to the buddy genre.

    It’s a credit to the original, and a great movie. I advise you to go see it. Either you’ll love it, or your force yourself to hate it to spite yourself.

  • Well I saw this movie last nite.
    And I have to say that this has to be probably one of the greatest action movies ever.

    Imagine the best action movie you have ever seen. Now imagine howard the duck.
    Transformers is that much better.

    All of you guys thinking that the movie is going to suck. Well you just keep thinking that and go to the theatre and check it out.
    You will be stunned that the movie is OMG good.
    Personally I thought they were going to do a good job on it. But they far surpassed my expectations.
    I suggest that you guys bring a box of tissues and some lubricant and sit in a dark corner of the theeatre.

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  • *spoilers*

    Loved it! I agree, the scenes with the humans were the worst of the bunch. The computer-hacking subplot was ludicrous and really pulled me out of the story. (Hack the Gibson!)

    And the reason for dumping the Decepticons in the ocean trench? “Hiding the evidence”? Yeah, not sure you can hide a twenty-minute robot war in the middle of Mission City.

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  • Awesome review! Very detailed indeed. I haven’t seen Transformers: The Movie yet but I am so stoked about it. Takes me back to when I was a boy… ahhh… *reminisces*

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  • spider750

    I just saw the movie and it was great!! Everyone knows with every movie based on something else, the director is going to take liberties to create “their own vision”. For true fans, there is going to be things that piss them off (Optimus Prime with lips and Bumblebee as a Camaro) but for the average person, it IS a great movie. All the negative hype had me thinking the movie was going to suck, but it was way better than I thought. I definitely wouldn’t mind Mr. Bay doing a second Transformers movie. The true sign was the Koreans in the movie theater with me. While they normally go for Korean films (with all the stars crying at some point or another, it’s true!!) They loved the movie and wouldn’t leave their seats. I suggest everyone check this movie out.

  • scoob

    I can’t believe everyone is saying how good this movie was? I went and saw it with all my mates yesterday,we so wanted it to be good.Instead we came home completely bewildered at how they managed to destroy a movie that had so much potential. Theres just so much to B*tch about, that I’m not even going to try list it all in this box. But even without being a transformers fan, that was an awful movie. Over-american-heroised, little-to-no character development for any of the robots except BB,OP and to a lesser extent Megatron. I was hoping starscream would at least be developed as a bit more of a mutinous scum, but NOTHING!Also,it was a shameless advertisement for GM. I dont mind the cars at all, i thought the camaro was sweet. But what the hell was the seen when theyre driving through the desert,and theres all the flashy camera angles of the cars, esp the camaro. It looks EXACTLY like a GM ad. Do people just not see through this crap? I could rant on and on, but heres the good i took from the movie :

    ****Spoilers****

    – was great to hear peter cullen
    – even with the flames, optimus looked pretty damn awesome
    – the CGI was pretty amazing
    – On the whole, the robots looked pretty cool, although the decepticons kind of all looked too similar
    – Sheia (sam) was very good and convincing. props to him
    – Some of the funny bits are actually really funny
    – Theres some great action, awesome robot fighting, but sometimes its just impossible to tell whats going on.
    – Mustang police car = terrifyingly sweet

    and the bad? theres far too much to list, but heres some of the sticklers

    – “You’re a soldier now” umm….i think the theatre collectivly groaned/laughed
    – also at the end when the mum is talking about how america is a land of freedom. *barf* more groans. seriously, give me a break
    – Starscream is a nothing character
    – The rest of the decepticons are sort of thrown in for good measure at the end, but you havent seen them before
    – Whats with the all spark creating robots that are inherintly EVIL to start with?
    – What the hell happens to the 3 new evil robots that are created by the all spark towards the end. We dont see them again at all. Everyones hands are full dealing with the main robots, do these new ones just run amuck?
    – Megatron killed by a power overload? What a copout. Correct me if im wrong, but i got the impression from optimus that he could destroy the all spark by fusing it with the matrix in his chest, which he shows. Megatron dosn’t have one, so why does sam kill him by just holding it up to his chest? In fact, how the hell did sam even know what would happen! Theres just so much wrong with this bit. ARGH
    – Nobody cares at all about rachet,ironhide or jazz. theyre simply nothing characters.we know nothing about them, they get developed for all of 3 seconds, and after that theyre just their to fight.
    – GM just threw money at this thing, i didnt pay $15 to watch a 2 hour advertisment.
    – Optimus Primes speil at the end is just so cheesy. I think america should be banned from making movies for a while, just so we dont have to deal with thick patriotic overtones in every piece of crap we see. Michael Bay, seriously, the rest of the world DOES NOT share the same hollywood crapesque, and frankly prefer stories with more substance and less cheese. My eyes are sore from rolling so much.

    this also looks to be set up for a sequel. I dont know weather to laugh or cry. But if it is, please just fix it, some how.

    P.S. The transformers theme song by black lab is hilarious. Final nail in the coffin for the whole cheese factor. We listened to it on youtube after the movie, and were literally rolling on the floor laughing. Esp at the first bit when he sings “tranformerrrrrrruerrrughghggghhhhhhhssss”

  • directfx

    its the best movie i have ever seen so far this year, its blew my mind and way it was too much more than what i expected, i havent gone over it yet. even if i watch it 5 times i still drool to the excitement of seeing it over again. moviehouses here are all jampacked

  • I am REALLY looking forward to this movie and I think Dave is right, it should be given a chance and I’m not just saying that because I have always been a Transformers fan, but I think both the Transformers and Michael Bay should be given room to grow and yeah Bay has made some not so good films, but there are other directors out there who could also be put under the microscope, my favourite director included, but I have learned that everyone should be given those opportunities and chances to grow and make mistakes.This film has come under so much scrutiny that I’m afraid it has made me want to see it even more!

    I am a fan and have been since the tender age of seven and had to put up with alot of flack for liking the show and the toys, you know I wasn’t allowed to have Transformers toys when I was growing up, just because I was a girl. I really appreciate the whole Transformers world, but I won’t have it by the throat and make it feel as though it owes me something…

    xx Till all are one!xx

  • ‘Bumblebee’has always been my favourite, and I am happy with his development, there is quite alot of negativity surrounding this movie. How do people feel about the new HE-MAN and THUNDERCATS films that are in the works?

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  • wanderer

    my biggest problem with the movie was the deceptacons. soundwave, (which im assuming was the little monkey bot), it was a little wierd no one could stop him, and he ends up killing himself.

    devastator… c’mon.. we all know he’s 5 construction machines in one.. not a huge tank.

    megatron… obviously not gonna be a dinky hand gun, but could have at least made him into the galvatron cannon or something close to his original transformation… not a super advanced space ship.

    really thats the only issue i had after watching it, i still thought it was one damn good movie.

  • The Weg

    Does anybody know what happened to Barricade? That’s the cop car I believe. He’s there when the decepticons are heading towards the allspark in the city and then he dissappears for the rest of the film..? Did I miss something?

  • Joe

    Overall…. I was amazed.

    I was cautious about reading ANY press about the movie before going to see it. I didn’t listen to any reviews, care to hear anyones opinion or make my own pre-rendered judgments on the movie versus my old ideals of the 80’s Transformers. I could though, recall Beast Wars, where I first fell in love with CG animation… Quickly I erased even that from my mind.

    Taking my nephews, 12 and 8, I thoroughly expected them to be satisfied without realizing the cinematical masterpiece we were about to endure…

    …Holy Sh!t….. Aside from Product Placement for a film who’s budgeting needs weren’t even properly met, this movie rocked my fricken world.

    Michael Bay made me want to “squee” like a little girl when I saw the CGI and other Special FX. I drooled at the real time lighting interface and Wireframe-to-physical cooperation used by the animations.

    The sounds were well placed… and hearing the old transformation sounds… like the Sirens call. So pleasing to hear it. And it was like that the other 50 or so times the sound was played too….

    Dave, you hit the nail on the head reviewing this movie.

    I did find some of the humor juvenile, but not so much so that I was having to explain the so called “childish humor” still to my nephews, who again where 8 and 12.

    Though, I’ve marked my two favorite humorous scenes in the movie by laugh factor.

    John Tutturo… when he got “lubricated” on by Bumble Bee… And the other was the Introduction of Jazz when he says “Wussup bitches?”… Rofl.

  • John

    Comon you guys. Stop trying to defend this movie. It’s a piece of crap of the darkest kind.

    I went to the cinema to see some transformers, cause thats what it says on the fucking title.. TRANSFORMERS!!! And in the teasers and trailers and many many posters they promise you TRANSFORMERS. And when you go to collect you get some humans with their fears and there emotions and whatever. WTF!! If i wanted that i would go see Casablanca 2 or something.

    How is it possible that anyone can manage to make a boring movie about transformers? But that is what has happened. I almost slipped into a deep coma the first hour. After the first hour Optimus Prime FINALLY (there must be a god after all)appeared. After 90 MINUTES we saw Megatron appearing fully on screen for the first time.

    Check the title Bay!! It says TRANSFORMERS and TRANSFORMERS is about a battle between autobots and decepticons. That being the case, you CANNOT introduce Megatron and gang after 90 fucking minutes in a movie that is called transformers. Is that so hard to understand?? Did you NOT finish kinder garten????

    This movie should have been called “the greatness of humans” or “our great military” or “about a heroic boy”. Or maybe “crystine 2” the story about a boy and his car continues… But for heavens sake not transformers, cause the movie is not about transformers.

    I watched the movie twice just to be sure. And there’s no doubt about it… It really sucks as a transformers movie. The plot should have been simple.. Transformers crashland on earth. Megatron sees potential in this planet and tries to enslave everybody. Human armies are crushed, cities are destroyed. The autobots are earths final hope. Theres a big clash between autobots and decepticons. The autobots are initially defeated. Then Starscream backstabs Megatron and the decepticons are weakened and Prime comes and saves the day. And the only humans in the movie are the ones who are stepped upon or the ones who get blown away. Simple but affective. There was no reason for Bay to try to re-invent the wheel. The moron doesn’t have the brains to do so anyways.

    And so we have a movie in our hands that is called transformers, but tells the story of a boy and soldiers. Its just sad… Just so sad.

    Just wake up and smell the crap… It is of the darkest kind!

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  • Cam Corte

    Shame on those of you who go to a movie based on an 80’s epic empire of cartoons & toys expecting a profound plot the likes of “The Godfather” or “Forrest Gump”. In short, “Transformers” is clearly all about ACTION. Those of you who still loathe the movie despite ALL its breath-taking special effects, cutting-edge-of-your-seat explosions, ingenious side-splitting humor, All-Star cast & crew, and inescapable stellar fan fare, TOTALLY missed the point. The sole purpose of this film was to shock & awe you, and to awe-inspire you to reflect retrospectively upon a purely greater era than our own, filled with countless dreams and enchanting fantasies, in our own time: the 1980’s.

    In fact, I feel sorry for those of you who absolutely despised this movie: does it really take THAT much more to satisfy you at the theaters? Can not one bad ass apocalyptic explosion after another, coupled with hot chicks & sleek smooth rides, Bernie Mac slapstick, and gloriously triumphant American patriotism woo you into submission like the poignant picture of the fireworks on the Fourth of July? The bombs bursting in air? The rockets red glare? Megatron’s icy dark lair? Gave PROOF through the night, that our tastes were not BARE! Spoke TRUTH to the sky, that there’s MORE than meets the eye!

    Now, I’d like to talk more about the movie, but the sheer cynicism of the pessimistic critics causes me to indulge myself in a battle for acceptance & recognition of the Inevitable. If anything, this movie is a testament to the old adage: “No matter what, you can’t please all the people all the time.” There will always be haters, no matter HOW brilliant the artistic endeavor nor HOW deep the breadth of exhilaration inspires the Simple Man to do, as he surely does: to simply ENJOY the experience, neglecting to critique every minute detail of the kick-ass ‘flick’. Rarely in my own life has any film EVER thrilled me with such an unfathomable sense of stimulation in the heart of the cinematic spectacle. To compare, I’ll only name a few: “Jurassic Park”, “Independence Day”, “Armageddon”, & “Titanic”. Yes, there I said it…I liked the movie “Titanic”. And I’m not ashamed to say it. I thought it was a mind-blowing movie-going experience, and apparently I’m not the only one. Yet still the haters will crawl out of the woodwork and defile me for my honesty, my sincerity, my outward expression of that inner emotion which we ALL feel to one degree or another, and thereby will attempt to crush my credibility solely at the mention of James Cameron’s epic masterpiece.

    Anyways, on with the show. What do these five movies ALL have in common? Action, Intrigue, Emotion, Inspiration. Allow me to reiterate that last one: Inspiration! THAT is the inner emotion which we ALL feel, some more than others, and others at the beat of a different tune, when we see a movie that strikes our fancy and deeply satisfies our ravenous tastes. When a dynamic movie of epic proportions appeals to the insatiable hunger which dwells within us, we get goose-bumps at the climactic rapture, feel GOOD, warm, and fuzzy inside at the triumphant conclusion, and slowly but unsurely get up from our seats like docile little lambs and numbly walk out of the theater, our mouths agape in utter astonishment at the epochal accomplishment our artists have created before our very eyes.

    In my mind, “Transformers” IS “The Godfather” of action movies this summer. It IS the “Forrest Gump” of blockbusters this season, interminably running away with the limelight like there’s no end tomorrow. “Transformers” blew “Spiderman 3” clear out the water! “Live Free or Die Hard”? I’d rather watch the “Transformers” move and live free AND die hard! If all else fails at the box office this summer, and you’re anything like me, this movie alone will literally and metaphorically ‘transform’ you too. It is an aesthetic orgasm at the zenith of its climax. In simpler words than none: this movie is right on the money.

    And to think, I almost didn’t even go see this movie because the “expert” critics proclaimed “it left more to be desired.” HAH! Only a literal missile through my incredibly awe-struck head from Starscream’s F-16 could have put their disgruntled dissatisfaction to rest. Well, seeing as how this Decepticon gets away in the end anyway, I’ll leave that next remarkable visual feat to Michael Bay. Bring on the sequel(s).

    If you only scrolled down to read the end of my rant, in short, F**K the critics. For me, after seeing this powerfully prevailing movie, their credibility is shot. If you even had the slightest desire to go see this movie before, if the kid inside of you compelled even the humblest of inclinations to witness this wonderful maelstrom of a movie, if the brazen child of the 80’s which resides in EACH of us even remotely all-sparked you (pun intended) to gaze upon this in God’s greatest glory, go see it. And the Inevitable Truth is that this movie inspires generations of men, and children of men, to live like we were dying in an era of enchantment and wonder. For those simpletons of us who merely go to a theater to enjoy the action-packed cinematic experience, Optimus Prime & Co. will not let you down. As the clichés say, your ticket will grant you the whole seat for the show, but you’ll only need the edge of it. A fan may even vie to cry, for with “Transformers” the movie, there certainly is more than meets the eye.

  • @Cam Corte

    Well said.

  • Roy

    THE BEST MOVIE

  • Ben

    Hi, does anyone please know what happened to Barricade??? I remember seeing him on the way to the battle but didn’t see him getting destroyed?? HELP?!?!?

  • jon carberry

    are you guys high on drugs?

    that was the most horrifyingly bad film of transformers that could have been made.

    seriously! i can’t belive my local cinema got away with charging me £5 to see such a long advert for General motors (owners of the worst mile per gallon vehicles on the planet) and the American military (cos the world just ain’t safe without them being strong and blowing stuff up all the time) lets face it…the first clue we really get in the film that the decepticons are evil is when they start blowing up american bases in the middle east!

    I Loved transformers as a kid…now it’s just another white house approved “black hawk down” with a side order of freedom fries. bumblebee was a VWbeetle until this film, megatron turned into a gun until this film. they took the charchters we grew up knowing and loving and turned them into logo-toting shiney things to dazzle the indiscriminating masses.

    sure its a cg masterpiece but who wants to sit for so long watching what the ubernerd got up to with his multibillion dollar budget when its all just been payed for by a bunch of corporate cynics looking to start more wars and sell more humvee’s

    jeez! i know the original series was just an attempt to sell toys but at least toys didn’t get anyone (too badly) hurt.

    Transformers fans…share my anger. you have been exploited and had your dreams stolen by the ad-men again. this film isn’t even remarkable enough to stand out as being truly awful. its just a sad waste of a great set of charachters bundled in with an off-the-shelf typical hollywood family drama/romance story. no cybertron, hell i dont even know why i’m wasting more of my life thinking about it.

  • Pingback: alonsoh1()

  • Aside from the crappy acting this movies was amazing.

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