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Summer Movie Mayhem 2010
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Summer Movie Mayhem 2010

Summer you say? Already? We thought it was like February still…no?

Yes indeed, that joyous time of year when movie fans can put their brains away to hibernate for a few months (for the most part), and bask in the glory that is the summer movie season. It’s time to re-open the cinematic buffet and, as always, this year will deliver all of the bangs and booms, the violence and sex, and the shocks and laughs that you the moviegoers crave when the sun is at its hottest.

This year is a little different than we’ve been used to — almost like a year off in terms of true spectacle. There’s more than your fair share of big names and sequels being released, but unlike last year and even next year, the summer won’t be dominated by them. Instead, there’s plenty of remakes, adaptations, and a mixture of all genres from the traditional action-packed firework festivals and comedies to less-traditional fare such as historical epics, science fiction horrors, cult classics-in-the-making, and psychological mind-benders.

Allow me not to waste anymore of your time. Grab the biggest, buttery bucket of popcorn and as many liter-o-colas as you can carry, then leap on over to the other side for your biggest and best guide to upcoming movies in our very own Summer Movie Mayhem 2010!

IRON MAN 2
Directed By: Jon Favreau
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Mickey Rourke, Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Sam Rockwell, Scarlett Johansson
Release Date: May 7
Trailer

Iron Man 2

The movie that’s really going to get this Summer off to an exciting start, Iron Man 2 is the first of four juggernaut comic book movies being brought to us by Marvel Studios.

The movie re-teams director Jon Favreau and star Robert Downey Jr., who returns as the eccentric Tony Stark. This time around, Stark finds himself in the middle of a messy situation which includes the government attempting to acquire and utilize his Iron Man technology and the dangerous villain Whiplash (Mickey Rourke) coming along to take him down. All of this while dealing with the celebrity that comes along with being a superhero whose true identity is known to the entire world!

Between this, Thor, The First Avenger: Captain America, and the culmination within The Avengers, Iron Man 2 has to be the best bet success of the group. We don’t know what to expect from the others — one or two may really blow our minds — but a Favreau/Downey Jr. Iron Man is a proven great time, and it’s very unlikely that this sequel won’t equal that level of fun, if not surpass it.

ROBIN HOOD
Directed By: Ridley Scott
Starring: Russell Crowe, Cate Blanchett, Mark Strong, William Hurt, Danny Huston, Mark Addy, Kevin Durand
Release Date: May 14
Trailer

Robin Hood

Ridley Scott‘s Robin Hood is the season’s resident historical epic, and from what we’ve seen so far, it looks like it will be worth the wait.

Instead of the traditional pointy hat, tight green spandex-wearing Robin of Locksley we’re so familiar with from movies like 1938’s The Adventures of Robin Hood with Errol Flynn, Disney’s 1973 animated Robin Hood, and even Mel Brooks’ hilarious parody Robin Hood: Men in Tights, this new movie approaches the story as a more historically accurate take on the legendary tales.

In this film, Russell Crowe plays Sir Robin Longstride, an archer and soldier of King Richard the Lionheart who returns home to discover that the new Sheriff of Nottingham has been developing something of a tyrannical reputation. Robin joins forces with the men of Sherwood Forest to create a rebellion and rise up against the corrupt government leadership to restore things to the way they were.

When first reported, Robin Hood was actually called Nottingham (which I still prefer), and it portrayed the Sheriff as the good guy. At that point, Crowe was going to play the Sheriff, and there was even a point where rumors indicated that he would play both that role as well as Robin Hood. At some point, Ridley Scott decided it was all too unstable and their best bet would be to simply update the traditional structure.

SHREK FOREVER AFTER
Directed By: Mike Mitchell
Starring: Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy, Antonio Banderas, Jon Hamm, Walt Dohrn, Craig Robinson, Kristen Schaal, Julie Andrews
Release Date: May 21
Trailer

Shrek Forever After

Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy, and Antonio Banderas are back in action as Shrek, Fiona, Donkey and Puss in Boots in Shrek Forever After, the fourth installment in this multi-billion dollar franchise.

This time around, Shrek is having his very own mid-life crisis now that he’s a hero and celebrity. Missing the old days when he was feared and it was just he and his swamp, the giant green ogre makes a deal with Rumpelstiltskin to regain some of his more youthful days. The accord ultimately results in deception, and Shrek finds himself lost in an alternate universe where none of his friends and family recognize him, he is once again hunted, and Rumpelstiltskin is king of all the land.

After Shrek the Third, there is no denying the overall skepticism of this new movie. Well hope that the magic created in the first two movies can be rediscovered, but many (including myself) can’t help but fear that it’s all just another cash cow and that the necessary love and attention will be forgotten ingredients once again.

MACGRUBER
Directed By: Jorma Taccone
Starring: Will Forte, Kristen Wiig, Ryan Phillippe, Val Kilmer, Powers Boothe
Release Date: May 21
Trailer

MacGruber

MacGruber is the newest movie to be made based on a popular Saturday Night Live skit and produced by Lorne Michaels. Other SNL-based movies we’ve seen over the years include The Blues Brothers, Wayne’s World, Coneheads, and A Night at the Roxbury. The last time we saw one of these flicks was a decade ago with 2000’s The Ladies Man, making MacGruber a long-time coming.

The skit and movie are also a spoof of the popular ’80s TV show, MacGyver, except instead of saving the day via ingenious problem-solving skills, MacGruber tends to get distracted easily, killing those he was supposed to save.

In this new movie adaptation, MacGruber (Will Forte) finds himself trying to track down the dangerous Dieter von Cunth (*giggle*), played by the great Val Kilmer, who has stolen a nuclear warhead. Along with Vicki St. Elmo (Kristen Wiig) and Lt. Dixon Piper (Ryan Phillippe), MacGruber will have to find a way through endless obstacles and dangers to track down Cunth and stop him before it’s too late.

PRINCE OF PERSIA: THE SANDS OF TIME
Directed By: Mike Newell
Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Gemma Arterton, Alfred Molina, Ben Kingsley,
Release Date: May 28
Trailer

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

Having seen quite a few images and the trailers for video game movie Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, it’s clear that they’re goal was to really deliver a massive summer action/fantasy popcorn flick to your eyes. The question is — with the graveyard of failed video game adaptations out there — would this finally be one that was both faithful and a hell of a lot of fun?

The movie will of course follow Prince Dastan (Jake Gyllenhaal) as he joins forces with a princess that he’s not on the best of terms with to stop an army of undead demon-types, prevent a villainous ruler from unleashing a deadly sand storm, and using his newly-discovered Dagger of Time as a time manipulation tool in order to try and return the Sands of Time back into their hourglass, and save his kingdom from irrevocable devastation. Phew! Sounds like a crazy time.

The biggest wild card here is Gyllenhaal who could be one of the worst casting choices for a Persian prince you could have come up with. So can Jake use his irresistible charms to win all of your hearts, or will Lost‘s Naveen Andrews always be the “one that would have made the difference”?

SPLICE
Directed By: Vincenzo Natali
Starring: Adrien Brody, Sarah Polley, Delphine Chanéac, David Hewlett
Release Date: June 4
Trailer

Splice

Every Summer there’s a few movies that are worth noting, despite the fact that they’re not very well-known among the masses. Splice is one of these movies.

Splice is a title that’s been spoken of for a long time now, but a slew of production difficulties has seen it wander the wastelands of filmmaking progress, waiting for a path to lead it to some sort of release. Now we’ll finally get a chance to see it.

All we know about it is that the movie is about a couple of crazy, God-playing scientists who decide to do the unthinkable: splice together the DNA of a human and an animal. The result is Dren (Delphine Chanéac), a half human, half Chimera woman who has a bond with her makers but also poses an undeniably dangerous threat.

The main reason Splice has been so intriguing, is because of a group of images released long ago. These pictures were creepy and fascinating and made it impossible not to want to see what could be going on in this movie. I for one can’t wait to finally check it out and see if the movie lives up to the horrifying promises that lay within those images!

THE A-TEAM
Directed By: Joe Carnahan
Starring: Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Sharlto Copley, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson, Jessica Biel, Patrick Wilson
Release Date: June 11
Trailer

The A-Team

When it was announced that a movie adaptation of the hit ’80s TV show The A-Team was on the way, most people collectively sighed. These are the things that you hear about every day, and it’s best to just ignore them and go about your day, right?

But what about the ones that actually end up being…good? It’s not unheard of for a remake or adaptation to surprise, and when the first trailer for The A-Team was released, well, damnit, it actually looked like a lot of fun! Will it meet these expectations when it comes out? No one knows, but it’s definitely a movie that could be worth a peek.

The A-Team gives your favorite four characters in Hannibal (Liam Neeson), Face (Bradley Cooper), Murdock (Sharlto Copley), and B.A. Baracus (Quinton “Rampage” Jackson) a nice new makeover, and gets to the action. The movie will tell the story of four veterans of the war in Iraq who were wrongfully accused of major crimes they did not commit. The group must find their way through many intense situations in order to prove their innocence and regain the trust of the United States Military.

TOY STORY 3
Directed By: Lee Unkrich
Starring: Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack, John Ratzenberger, Don Rickles, Wallace Shawn, Michael Keaton, John Morris, Timothy Dalton
Release Date: June 18
Trailer

Toy Story 3

It’s been eleven years since Woody and Buzz Lightyear last warmed our hearts and made kids out of all of us again, but as a clever marketing tag line said once upon a time, “the toys are back in town.”

That’s right — in less than two months time, Tim Allen, Tom Hanks, and the rest of the gang are back in Toy Story 3, and my-oh-my how we’ve missed them. This time around, Andy (once again voiced by John Morris) is ready to head off to college and has to decide what to do with all of his old toys. Due to an unfortunate chain of events, the toys find themselves donated to a daycare center where toddlers unleash Hell on a daily basis. They think that Andy has chosen to just throw them out, but Woody is convinced otherwise and tries to talk them into escaping and reuniting with the boy who had always been their owner.

Early buzz on this movie seems to indicate that even though Pixar has been more open to sequels lately, the quality of their films is still top-notch. Not that we needed any more reason to be giddy as a child about Toy Story 3, but all signs point to this being one of the best flicks you’ll see at a theater this summer.

JONAH HEX
Directed By: Jimmy Hayward
Starring: Josh Brolin, Megan Fox, John Malkovich, Michael Fassbender, Will Arnett, Michael Shannon
Release Date: June 18
Trailer

Jonah Hex

Maybe not quite as familiar as Marvel’s Iron Man 2, DC Comics also has a title on the way this summer: Jonah Hex.

The movie tells the story of a Civil War veteran named Jonah Hex (Josh Brolin) who walks a line between this life and the afterlife and is wanted for many crimes. Instead of punishment, the military offers him an ultimatum: track down and stop the evil Quentin Turnbull (John Malkovich), a terrorist who has plans of releasing Hell on Earth, and he can go free. Hex and Turnbull are not strangers, having quite the nasty past, but Hex has no choice but to take his chances.

A dark Western based on a comic book series? Sounds like a sure hit, but a lot has yet to be seen. For me, a lot depends on rating and effects. If it’s PG-13 and CGI-heavy then you’re looking at a big swing and a miss, but if they go truly dark and violent with it and put the same effort into the movie as they did on Hex’s deformed face, it could just be a good time. Judging from the trailer above, I can’t help but think it looks right on the line and I’m personally hoping to love this one being the fan of Westerns that I am.

THE TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE
Directed By: David Slater
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Ashley Greene, Peter Facinelli, Kellan Lutz, Jackson Rathbone
Release Date: June 30
Trailer

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

Brace yourselves, it’s here already!

The third film in the ungodly popular franchise, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse is ready to arrive. And considering how often our favorite movie sequels are made, this feels entirely way too soon. Most of us haven’t even recovered from the arrival of The Twilight Saga: New Moon yet, and yet those glitter-loving vampire rejects are already back for more action. Does that sparkle with everyone?

If you’re a fan of the franchise, then you know exactly what this third movie will be all about and June 30 will be the new happiest day of your life. If you’re on the other side of the line, then you fear the ever-growing buzz that is and will continue to grow before the movie opens and makes many, many more millions. That’s the easiest way to sum this movie up.

From where I’m standing the only good thing about such a quick sequel arrival is that the the final movie is next in line. Sadly, that’ll be a two-part adventure. Damn you money-making movie producer geniuses! Of course, with the signing of Bill Condon to direct that one, who know, maybe it’ll be better than we think?

THE LAST AIRBENDER
Directed By: M. Night Shyamalan
Starring: Noah Ringer, Dev Patel, Jackson Rathbone, Cliff Curtis, Nicola Peltz
Release Date: July 2
Trailer

The Last Airbender

M. Night Shyamalan‘s latest film is The Last Airbender, and it is his attempt to win back the hearts of his fans, who were almost entirely lost after he put out movies like Lady in the Water and The Happening, which both had about as much negative feedback as we’ve heard lately.

His newest film is not an original suspense thriller like he’s used to making (which is clearly for the best), but an adaptation of an animated Nickelodeon series called Avatar: The Last Airbender. It tells the story of a world where different races control different elements of the planet, and a special boy who controls all of them and must help to defeat a rebellious uprising by one of the others.

Though few have faith in Shyamalan, the movie doesn’t look horrible, and it may just end up surprising many who see it. It does seem like something of a Captain Planet knockoff when you really look at it, but here’s hoping for the best.

PREDATORS
Directed By: Nimród Antal
Starring: Adrien Brody, Laurence Fishburne, Alice Braga, Topher Grace, Danny Trejo, Derek Mears
Release Date: July 9
Trailer

Predators

Remember how exciting the prospect of seeing a Predator and an Alien battle to the death was? We all know how that disaster played out — proving just how quickly a dream movie can die in the wrong hands — and now comes the next step in the natural progression of things: remakes and prequels!

While Ridley Scott’s prequel to Alien is still a ways off, the remake of Predator draws near. On July 9, the Robert Rodriguez-produced and Nimród Antal-directed Predators will hit theaters. The movie takes place on a planet where the Predators are the top species, and they happen to enjoy hunting. The creatures have located the very best killers among the human race — soldiers, martial artists, murders, and others — and brought them to their planet to hunt. Most of them will probably die, but will any find a way to survive?

This is my biggest concern of the summer. I, along with many others, want this to be as good as it promises to be, but can’t help be worry that it will crash and burn when show time arrives. We were promised early on that this would be something of an R-rated apology for the embarrassments that were Alien vs. Predator and its sequel, but there’s still that PG-13 paranoia that came with Terminator Salvation last year dwelling deep inside. We must hold faith in the one they call Robert Rodriguez.

CYRUS
Directed By: The Duplass Brothers
Starring: Jonah Hill, John C. Riley, Marisa Tomei, Catherine Keener
Release Date: July 9
Trailer

Cyrus

Jay Duplass and Mark Duplass have been around for a little while now, and they’re known for delivering some pretty fantastic indie films including The Puffy Chair and Baghead. As expected, their talents are becoming more and more apparent to the world, and the pair is about to deliver their biggest title yet: Cyrus.

Cyrus tells the story of a guy named John (John C. Riley), who has been lonely for a long time now since he and his ex-wife Jamie (Catherine Keener) divorced. Reluctantly, he tries to be a little social and ends up meeting Molly (Marisa Tomei), who turns out to be everything he’s ever wanted in a woman. As with everything that seems perfect, however, there is a catch. When John realizes that Molly won’t let him anywhere near her house, he follows her to find out why, and this is where he discovers Cyrus (Jonah Hill) — Molly’s 21-year-old son who is more hooked to his mother than any man ever should. This leads to a back-and-forth battle between the two as John tries to get closer to the girl of his dreams and her son does everything in his power to get rid of him.

Cyrus isn’t really a fitting movie for the summer movie season, but for all of you folks who love a good smaller film, here’s one of your better bets. Feedback from the film festivals that Cyrus played seem to indicate that the movie is another gem. If you’re unfamiliar with the Duplass Brothers, I can’t recommend enough that you check them out and get acquainted immediately!

INCEPTION
Directed By: Christopher Nolan
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Ellen Page, Ken Wantabe, Michael Caine, Cillian Murphy, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Marion Cotillard
Release Date: July 16
Trailer

Inception

These are the movies that the mastermind behind the fantastic resurrection of the Batman franchise does as his sort of hobby films in between blockbusters. Thankfully, Christopher Nolan knows how to get things done, and it looks like we’re going to get a pretty insane psychological roller coaster movie before the follow-up to The Dark Knight starts heating up!

For the longest time, no one had a clue what Inception was even about, but small details have come to light over time. Apparently it will be about an agency who has the ability to enter the minds of other human beings, and they use this ability to enter the thoughts of the most successful and wealthy people on the planet, discover their secrets for success, and then sell these secrets to whoever is paying the most. The risk in all of this is of two parts. One: when in something as powerful as the human mind, things can change — and they can change for the absolute worst — in the blink of an eye. Two: people are going to want this ability for themselves, and one man goes to great lengths to obtain it.

Based on the trailer, it does look like it could be some crazy cerebral entertainment, so long as it all makes some form of sense by the time the credits roll. By now, we should all have no troubles whatsoever in trusting that Nolan knows how to make great movies, and this will not be any different.

THE SORCERER’S APPRENTICE
Directed By: John Turteltaub
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Jay Baruchel, Alfred Molina, Tobey Kebbell, Monica Bellucci, Teresa Palmer
Release Date: July 16
Trailer

The Sorcerer's Apprentice

A live-action movie re-imagining of the animated Disney movie Fantasia and the story that it was based on starring Nicolas Cage? With just that sentence, I would laugh at the idea and many would join me. But for some strange…maybe even magical reason, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice actually looks like a lot of fun.

The movie is about a young student (Jay Baruchel) who is taken on as the new apprentice to a mighty Sorcerer…just like the title says! The Sorcerer, named Balthazar, must teach him as much as possible in a short period of time to fight off his nemesis Horvath (Alfred Molina) and his own apprentice, the very Criss Angel-like Drake Stone (Toby Kebbell), and protect New York City.

Director Jon Turteltaub directed Cage in both of the National Treasure films, which while not the best movies ever seen, are still surprisingly entertaining. I expect to get that same type of fun here. Oh, and Turteltaub directed Cool Runnings and 3 Ninjas, so most of us owe him for the nostalgia!

THE OTHER GUYS
Directed By: Adam McKay
Starring: Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg, Samuel L. Jackson, Dwayne Johnson, Eva Mendes,
Release Date: August 6
Trailer

The Other Guys

As far as action comedies go, none will ever touch Hot Fuzz if you ask me. Still, one that’s well-done is always welcome in the world of movies, and this summer’s resident action comedy is The Other Guys.

Directed by Adam McKay (Anchorman, Step Brothers), the movie is a buddy cop comedy where the buddies may not get along all that great, centering on two not-so-well-matched partners named Gamble (Will Ferrell) and Hoitz (Mark Wahlberg). Wanting to be just like the very best cops in New York City, Highsmith (Samuel L. Jackson) and Danson (Dwayne Johnson), they jump at the opportunities to elevate their current situation. Unfortunately, things don’t always go quite as smoothly as they would wish.

I don’t personally know much about this movie aside from seeing the trailer, but it’s hard not to be interested in a movie like this with the cast it has. The four actors mentioned here are also joined by Eva Mendes, Michael Keaton, Ray Stevenson, Steve Coogan, Anne Heche, and Rob Riggle…not to mention a couple I’d rather not know were in it, such as Paris Hilton (Really? There better be a good gag behind this) and Derek Jeter (Does he get shot…or at least assaulted?).

THE EXPENDABLES
Directed By: Sylvester Stallone
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, Dolph Lundgren, Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis
Release Date: August 13
Trailer

The Expendables

Unlike The Other Guys, The Expendables doesn’t have time for funny. This is the summer’s pure action flick, and it isn’t messing around with its absurd mixture of star power from action movies past and present.

Included in this cast is Sylvester Stallone (who also wrote and directed), Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, Terry Crews, Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis, and of course, Arnold Schwarzenegger. This would have been even crazier with parts offered to Jean-Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal, but those two were party-poopers and had to decline.

The movie tells the story of a team of mercenaries who are as close as brothers. The team finds themselves heading to South America to take down an evil dictator, but the job ends up being so much more than that when a traitor places them in great danger.

Though many criticize me and others for being so stubborn on the topic, this is perhaps the second most important movie when it comes to a rating. Predators is the crucial must-be-R-rated title of the summer, but The Expendables isn’t far behind. This stems from the fact that there has been rumors that the movie could be PG-13 if it tests better that way (hooray for blood-less dust-poofing bullet impacts!). When you see a flick like this and the cast it has, you want to be brought back to all of those awesome ’80s action flicks in all of their graphic R-rated glory.

You may not agree, but it’s no secret how angry I get when studios think about money over the fans, and anything less from this movie will result in my own immediate loss of interest. If you’re still convinced “they can get away with more these days…just look at The Dark Knight,” well, I feel sorry for you, but I’m having none of that B.S. pie.

SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD
Directed By: Edgar Wright
Starring: Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Chris Evans, Brandon Routh, Anna Kendrick,
Release Date: August 13
Trailer

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

Easily one of this summer’s most buzzed about movies, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is a crazy new comic book adaptation from Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz director Edgar Wright.

The movie follows *drumroll please* Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera), a 23-year-old who’s in a band and living the young life…that is until Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) enters his world. Scott falls head over heels for Flowers, but for her to be his own, there comes a bit of a catch: he must defeat the seven evil ex-boyfriends of Ramona Flowers — no easy task to undertake for anyone.

The Scott Pilgrim comics are unfathomably popular and this movie has a frenzy of followers already dying to see what the movie looks like. If you’re like me and have no idea what the hell is going on in the pictures and trailers you’ve see, that’s okay too — this is Edgar Wright we’re talking about, and that man has not let us down yet.

CENTURION
Directed By: Neil Marshall
Starring: Michael Fassbender, Dominic West, Olga Kurylenko, Noel Clarke, David Morrissey
Release Date: August 27
Trailer

Centurion

Another lesser-known title being released this summer is historical epic Centurion. The movie comes from director Neil Marshall, who brought us The Descent and Doomsday, both of which are not the most critically acclaimed, but do offer some unique, dark fun.

The movie takes place in 117 A.D. and tells the story of Rome’s Ninth Legion, who set off on a major mission to find and destroy the leader of the Picts and anyone who tries to stop them. But when the Picts spring a trap on them and take the Legion’s general captive, one remaining Roman soldier must take just a few men and find a way to stop the Picts once and for all.

Marshall’s kind of filmmaking isn’t always appealing to some, but for I, Centurion looks great. The director’s dark and savage style paired with an epic Roman setting is a very difficult pairing to ignore.

PIRANHA 3D
Directed By: Alexandre Aja
Starring: Elisabeth Shue, Christopher Lloyd, Adam Scott, Jerry O’Connell, Ving Rhames, Richard Dreyfuss
Release Date: August 27
Trailer

Piranha 3D

Piranhas! In 3D! What else could you possible want?

Piranha 3D looks and sounds like your typical late-night SyFy original movie, yes, but the movie is actually seems to be on-course to become the cult hit of the summer. And with a cheesy-fun horror movie vibe and a great cast, it just might pull it off.

The movie is something of a Jaws remake where instead of a massive killer Great White shark loose during the popular summer months of a coastal town, a swarm of prehistoric killer piranhas are released when a tremor cracks the ground under the waters of Lake Victoria during the popular Spring Break months! With around 20,000 wild and drunken kids ready to leave their inhibitions wherever they’ve come from, it becomes the perfect feeding ground for the deadly fish.

The movie is directed by Alexandre Aja (The Hills Have Eyes), and the aforementioned great (for this kind of movie anyway) cast includes Elisabeth Shue (Leaving Las Vegas), Adam Scott (Step Brothers), Jerry O’Connell (Tomcats), Christopher Lloyd (Back to the Future), Ving Rhames (Pulp Fiction), and what would this Jaws-esque movie be without the brain of Richard Dreyfuss!

MACHETE
Directed By: Robert Rodriguez
Starring: Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica Alba, Cheech Marin, Jeff Fahey, Steven Seagal, Lindsay Lohan, Don Johnson
Release Date: September 3
Trailer

Machete

How often do you get the chance to see a movie that originated as a faux trailer? Machete began just as such, created by director Robert Rodriguez to play among the many other faux trailers that surrounded the Quentin Tarantino and Rodriguez double-feature, Grindhouse. A few of these trailers were so popular that fans wanted to see actual movies made, and with this and Eli Roth’s Thanksgiving, that’s exactly what has been done.

The movie is about Machete (Danny Trejo), a former Federale and current gun-for-hire who is paid to kill a Senator. When attempting to do the job, he realizes that he is also marked, and that his employer has set up up to be killed as well. Machete takes this a bit personal and sets off on his bloody path to vengeance.

Much like The Expendables and Piranha 3D, Machete, which is co-directed by Ethan Maniquis, hopes to become yet another popular action/cult hit of the summer. And with someone like Rodriguez behind the curtain with this type of flick, it’s very much likely to blow some faces off. Just writing this guide, I’ve realized how excited I am for the multiple nods to old school cheesy-crazy-cultish entertainment on the way to our eyes in the next few months.

RESIDENT EVIL: AFTERLIFE
Directed By: Paul W.S. Anderson
Starring: Milla Jovovich, Ali Larter, Wentworth Miller, Shawn Roberts
Release Date: September 10
Trailer

Resident Evil:  Afterlife

At this point, many of you may have cashed out on the Resident Evil series of movies. I know I was done after seeing the second one. But still, they keep making them, and gods bless them for at least trying to give the fans of the game series something they can enjoy. Good or bad, it’s always nice to have a title you can rely on not to water things down (as mentioned above) and who (at least tries to) stay faithful to the original content it’s based on.

Not a ton is known about Resident Evil: Afterlife other than that it takes place after the events of Resident Evil: Extinction, and it begins with Alice (Milla Jovovich) roaming around the devastating aftermath of the T-virus outbreak. When she come to L.A., she eventually discovers an Umbrella base, teams up Claire Redfield (Ali Larter) and some survivors to attempt to help more survivors, including Claire’s brother Chris (Wentworth Miller), and even meets up with long-time foe, Albert Wesker (Shawn Roberts).

Based on the trailer, it certainly looks like there’s a lot of action going on, which is nice. On the other hand, this will be the first of the series to use that booming 3D technology (James Cameron’s 3D to boot!), and judging by the trailer, some of the CGI may come off as a tad cheesy. Again, I’m not a fan of these movies, but it will be interesting to see how fans receive it when released.

That does it for this year’s Summer Movie Mayhem! Hopefully we’ve covered most of the worthy titles being released and you now have a better idea what you will and will not be seeing this summer. What are you most looking forward to seeing this movie season?

Thanks for checking out our guide, and everyone have a great summer!

1 Comment »

  1. Iron Man 2: i was severely disappointed with the first movie. i generally prefer that movies run long, but there’s a difference between a long movie and a movie that FEELS long. what i recall the most about watching Iron Man was the feeling of “is it almost over?” so for the sequel i’ll wait a few weeks and keep an ear out for the reviews to decide if i wanna go see it in a theater or wait & one day rent it.

    Robin Hood: looks interesting, i always appreciate Russell Crowe’s performances, and the “accurate take” idea behind it intrigues me. looking forward to seeing it.

    Shrek 4: bleh, whatever.

    Macgruber: i’ve laughed at the previews and only hope those weren’t the only good jokes in the entire movie.

    Prince of Persia: i’m not a gamer so i know nothing of the backstory here, but in general the story doesn’t feel very original from what i’ve read. i feel no desire to even check this one out.

    Splice: i watched one preview and it gave me the feeling that i would hate the generic cocky scientists who want to push the limits and break the laws in the name of progress, but luckily it also gave me the feeling that i would be able to ignore them in favor of some good suspenseful scary scenes.

    A-Team: can’t deny it, the A-Team were my idols growing up and i have to see this one! not gonna waste my time thinking that they might be messing with the original characters story or plot lines, it’s been what, almost 30 years now? just sit back and enjoy the campy-ness i say.

    Toy Story 3: i enjoyed the first movie well enough, but not enough to wanna see a sequel, let alone another one. some stories should just be left as is and not milked for every penny.

    Jonah Hex: saw the preview and it looked pretty bad-ass. i definitely want to see this one on the big screen.

    Last Airbender: never even heard of it, and doesn’t look like anything i’d be interested in.

    Predators: i’m sure the plot will be dumb as hell, but really, who’s gonna care? big monsters killing people, sounds great to me!

    Cyrus: sounds like a fun movie to me, i’ll probably rent it down the road.

    Inception: i only know 2 things about this movie and i plan on keeping it that way. 1. it has Ellen Page. 2. it’s a C. Nolan movie. i’ve heard enough, i’m going to see it. i want to know nothing else so it’ll all be fresh to me the first time. here’s hoping i don’t get let down.

    Sorcerer’s Apprentice: sounds kinda lame. i’ll probably forget about it before getting the chance to rent it.

    Other Guys: doesn’t look like anything i’d enjoy.

    Expendables: looks like a movie i’d very much enjoy seeing. old guys getting their last hoorah in while they still can. i say blow up as much shit as you can old-timers, let the bodies fly & go out in a blaze of glory!

    Scott Pilgrim: i’m getting tired of seeing Micheal Cera playing the same character in every movie he’s in. seriously, no matter how different the movie, he’s always the same. no more!!!!

    Centurion: never heard of it, but you had me at “The director’s dark and savage style”. sounds cool to me.

    Piranha 3D: eh, sounds kinda lame. might rent it one day, maybe not.

    Machete: hells yeah!! how could i even think of NOT seeing this bad boy in the big screen? action! explosions! hot chicks! blood! figure out the ending in the first 15 minutes but not caring! hot chicks!!

    Re: Afterlife: ditto ^ with more hot chicks!!

    Comment by Dax — May 9, 2010 @ 12:30 am

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