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Mark Wahlberg Not Doing ‘The Crow’ But IS Doing ‘Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune’
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The Movie God   |  @   |  
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Well…let me start by wishing everyone a very happy Thanksgiving. None of these stories or our opinions matter without you visiting every day to check us out, and that is something we’re truly thankful for this year and hopefully many, many more to come.

Now, allow me to ruin your day, sadly.

While talking to MTV recently, Mark Wahlberg confirmed that he will be playing the lead role of Nathan Drake in the upcoming video game adaptation of Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune, and that he and director David O. Russell hope to do that come summer. On the brighter side of things, Wahlberg reaffirmed something broke earlier this week by Cinematical, and that’s that he won’t be starring in the remake of The Crow that was reported recently and had everyone up in arms.

Unfortunately for fans of Drake’s Fortune, the absolute worst thing you could follow up the Crow news with is word that you’re going to play Nathan Drake. We found out last month that O. Russell would be directing the adaptation, and to be honest, it was a very exciting thing to hear about because the game is perfectly set up to become a movie. The only question was who would play Drake.

That answer became as easy and obvious as anyone could possibly imagine. Fan favorite and Firefly and Castle star Nathan Fillion stood up from the realms of Twitter, declaring his interest in the part. Fillion is a pitch-perfect choice for Nathan Drake, and the masses went wacky happy at the very thought of such a thing happening. So that’s it, right? What could be easier for a great project than the absolute PERFECT actor for the part offering his services? Apparently for some, this is a little harder to figure out than you’d think.

Nope, O. Russell apparently thinks that Wahlberg, who just worked with the director on The Fighter, is the best man for the job. And it gets oh-so-much better than that, folks. Wahlberg says that the director is also writing parts for Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci as Nathan Drake’s father and uncle, and that they’ve talked to both of them about doing it already!

Wahlberg says:

David is one of the best writer/directors I’ve ever worked with. The idea that he has is just insane.

I’m obviously in whatever David wants to do but the idea of it is so off the charts: De Niro being my father, Pesci being my uncle. It’s not going to be the watered-down version, that’s for sure.

OK, so Wahlberg, De Niro, Pesci. This is something that would usually have fans pretty thrilled. The problem here is — SPOILER ALERT — there is no father or uncle in Drake’s Fortune! What in the hottest of unholy hells are these people thinking here? You have the movie. You have the perfect star in Fillion throwing himself at you. The perfect story is already there to be used. How complicated could this possibly be? How could any human being go from that to casting Marky Mark and making up random, unnecessary roles just to cast Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci — like we need goodfellas running around in Amazonian jungles seeking Spanish treasures.

Gods…do I hope this turns out to be some kind of sick, stupid joke.

Now, before you get the wrong idea, let me be clear: I’m not a Mark Wahlberg hater…truthfully. When given the right director, he can be incredible talented, and many of his films are fantastic. Even his new movie with O. Russell looks really, really good. But he’s just NOT Nathan Drake. His look isn’t too far off, but his voice, his comic timing and style…it’s just as wrong as could be. Anyone who’s played the game will tell you this is truth.

We all know how relentlessly awful movies based on video games (and vice versa) are. Even so, have we really gotten to the point where a movie version of a game is almost made for you and it’s still that much of a challenge to succeed?

This was easily one of the top projects out there I was excited about. This was the next Indiana Jones, without a doubt. Brilliant story, world, tone, and the ultimate impossible-not-to-love main character. Ingredients were accounted for. Now, given this news holds strong and nothing changes, I can’t say I care much to see what happens. I won’t boycott it or anything extreme, but hopes will certainly drop about as far as hopes can drop.

My apologies for the rampage. I haven’t vented off like that in quite a while, but boy, does this have me heated. And right before the holidays! Such a tragedy.

Please, by all means, share your thoughts below! I want to know if you guys think I’m overreacting or if you’re as crushed as I am knowing that Fillion was tossed aside for someone not as fitting yet again.

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