Episode 2.3 “Handidates”
Written by Ian Brennan
Directed by Bradley Buecker
Starring Emma Roberts, Jamie Lee Curtis, Abigail Breslin, Keke Palmer, Billie Lourd, Kirstie Alley, Niecy Nash, Lea Michele, Taylor Lautner, John Stamos
Air Date: Tuesday, October 11, 2016, 9pm
Spoilers for Scream Queens…
On Scream Queens, The CURE Institute is losing its patients (pun intended). Dean Cathy Munsch (Jamie Lee Curtis) is in danger of watching her hospital go up in smoke thanks a killer in a green monster suit who drips ooze. Two weeks ago, poor Chanel #5 (Abigail Breslin) saw her chance for love end at the end of the swamp killer’s blade. Chad Radwell (Glen Powell) showed up to fight for Chanel (Emma Roberts) and his panicked friend also met a vicious end. Everyone is on edge and desperation is seeping in… so much so that they even go to the asylum and pay Hester (Lea Michele) a visit. She immediately connects the killings to the hospital murders from 30 years earlier when doctors dumped a body in the swamp and someone returned to wipe out an entire hospital staff.
In this week’s episode, 2.3 “Handidates,” Poor Chanel #5 just can’t catch a break. Two seasons, two boyfriends murdered. On the subject of boyfriends, Chanel is now stuck in a love triangle between Dr. Brock Holt (John Stamos), who has a serial killer’s transplanted hand and Chad Radwell. Meanwhile, Chanel #3 (Billie Lourd) is moving closer to something with Dr. Cassidy Cascade (Taylor Lautner). A patient with persistent orgasms (Cheri Oteri) stirs the two to reveal secrets about themselves; she has never had an orgasm. He… is dead. Yes, that explains him always being cold. Chanel #3 doesn’t take this as a deal breaker. I say it every week, but Billie Lourd is just phenomenal.
Hester’s clues send Munsch and the gang to Florida to find the lone survivor of the hospital massacre, Lynn Johnstone (Alec Mapa), a proud male nurse who built an empire on nurse approved lotion. He tells them of the pregnant woman whose husband died the year before the massacre and they begin to brainstorm who the unborn baby could be… 30 years old… that rules out chief suspect, Dr. “Murder-hand” and suddenly Munsch suspects Chad Radwell of being the killer. Chad Radwell and Dr. Holt continue to compete for Chanel, usually in the shower, and naked…which is both bizarre and hilarious. The end result is Chad Radwell proposing to an impromptu wedding where, of all people, Holt is the Best Man.
Dr. Cascade and Chanel #3 figure out to fix orgasm lady by re-enacting her yoga stretches. “Yoga is just stretching for douchebags,” says Chanel #3. Of course, as is the new Scream Queens tradition, the recently cured is immediately killed off, but curiously, Zayday (Keke Palmer) is left alone. Of course Denise (Niecy Nash) points out that Zayday is probably the killer, a running joke from last season. Because she was able to help, Hester is moved from the asylum to CURE and Lea Michele is just killing it as the psychotic maniac doing Hannibal Lecter impressions.
It’s time for Chanel and Chad Radwell’s wedding. She enters first, and waits… wand waits… and then in a moment lifted from Suspiria, Chad’s body comes crashing through the stained glass ceiling. My poor Chad Radwell. I hope his wish comes true; for his body to grinded into powder and distributed to lame guys who can’t get girls, because a sprinkle of Chad Radwell will bring the girls running.
Every episode of this show, I find more and more hysterical. The horrorhound in me loves the blood and gore, and the script is full of legitimate LOL moments. TV needs more shows like Scream Queens: absolute fun and pure entertainment. Scream Queens returns next Tuesday night at 9:00 on FOX.